melissa's blog

I'm Giving Myself 30 Minutes, Tops...

2012-02-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

...to type this. Distractions, or not.

Writing about my pregnancy. I feel like I have to officially "out" myself on the blog, even though everyone that reads this blog already knows.

Christmas morning

We're having a baby! He's a boy! We are so excited!

And we planned it, okay? I only say that, because almost everyone has asked (understandably) - and the one's that haven't, I can tell, are wondering. Although, I think it's a funny question, "Did you plan this?". I am always tempted to respond by saying, "Of course I planned it. I got married, and we do "married" stuff - how could anyone ever be surprised by a baby?" But aside from the obvious risk of procreative activities, we planned, expected, and hoped for a baby.

The other question I am not as often asked out loud is, "Why? You are almost free". It's true. My kids have been in school for a several years now. We can go on rides together at Lagoon. I can tan by the swimming pool while the kids run and play and check in. It's been really fun. I have loved it. Eddie wants to train for a triathlon with me next year and that sounds like so much fun. I LOVE this stage of my life!

And yet...

I am sad the first day of school every year. I can't stand coming home to an empty house.

Also, now that I can see how fast those baby and toddler side-kick years go, I see that I will be "free" again, soon enough.

I miss kissing a peach-fuzzed newborn head.

I miss story time with a little in my lap.

And the smiles and coos a mom gets when she goes to get her baby in the morning. Oh man, that is the best.

I want the burden of family. To be confined more to home. They keep me young and excited about life and all that's in it. I don't really want to be "free". Of course, by this time next year I might change my tune a bit and want out of the house for a spell so I can PLEASE regain some sanity.

Being bound to children has been such a sweet and deep joy in my life. And I'm not one of those "natural" mothers, either! I never enjoyed babysitting as a kid. I struggle to be patient. To do the sitting and teaching along side my kids. I don't do well with distractions. I love my quiet time. I love my sleep. I am a lousy homemaker (though I am really trying).

Trying to be domestic and green and perfect. End up making a mess and almost burning by baby...

But I swear, nothing makes me feel so rich as my family, so we are going to make it a little bigger. It has been so long since I've had a baby, it almost doesn't feel real. Which is probably why I haven't blogged about it, yet. I almost don't want to get my hopes up.

And truthfully, I'm nervous. I'm settled and used to the way things are. This will change everything for me, again. Despite wanting to be confined to home, I know it will feel claustrophobic at times. I also remember this feeling before, of wondering how I will love a new baby without taking from my other children. How will this new person fit in? I remember also learning that the love grows. My love will grow, and this baby will be loved by all of us.

Pretty sweet stuff. Aaaaannd, my time is up....

Not So Shining Moments...

2012-01-25T09:13:00.001-07:00

It was 13 years ago. There was an old woman, fixed up and artsy. She was a distant relative (through marriage) who happened to live nearby. She suddenly appeared in my life when I gave birth to my first baby.

One or two mornings a week, I opened the door to a most friendly greeting. Soft white hair in an up-do. Fresh lip-stick. Bright painted eyes. A jump-suit. On her way to a weekly exercise class, she would stop in, bearing something she found in her home that I might be able to use. Herbal tea, a plastic sheet to protect the crib mattress, brooches made of tiny watch parts and other beautiful things which she pieced together with her own hands (she would have made a killing if Etsy had existed back then).   She'd ask how I was feeling, how motherhood was going and offer words of encouragement. I liked her. She was vibrant and friendly and creative.

Still, I was shy and very uncomfortable with the visits. I also was very uncomfortable with motherhood. Here was this precious little boy which I adored - but I had no confidence in my abilities to care for him. It was a monumental learning curve, and I was struggling. Alongside this handicap, I did not posess the skills to be an adequate hostess.

And yet, every Tuesday (sometimes more often) this sweet woman appeared at my door - always fixed up, always bearing gifts and a smile. I'm sure I was polite. I knew how to smile and be friendly...

My regret? I never thanked her. I mean, I'm sure I said, "thank you" when she handed me her weekly gifts. But, I never fully opened the doors and invited her in for a visit. I even minimized her offerings, inwardly chuckling at the "leftovers" she brought me.   I never thanked her for her time, her willingness to give to some young mother she hardly knows.

I am so ashamed to even think of it, it's difficult to type it out.

***

How many people do that? How many people take what they have, make a little time to visit someone they hardly know. Check in. Smile and share. Try to connect and help.

She was an angel and I was clueless.
I missed an opportunity of gaining a friendship with a truly interesting, kind and beautiful person.

I write about this in an attempt to cement a few things I've learned from this experience:

-It's too late to thank her now. These small opportunities are fleeting. Maybe someday I will get the chance (I hope).

-I don't want to miss another opportunity to grow a friendship or express gratitude.

-I want to be a better example to my kids by being more like my angel visitor from years ago.

-The next time I am cued that I behaved badly (because I was), then I hope to be humble and hurry to make it right, before it's too late.

The tea is gone. The sheets have been given to someone else. And she's gone. But I know I still have that brooch in a keepsake box somewhere.   I am tempted to dig it out. It would be a pretty little reminder to be beautiful like she was and to never miss an opportunity to show gratitude, or make a friend.

2012-01-21T21:48:00.001-07:00

It was wet and gray
the snow was heavy,
only just frozen enough to fluff into white -
my boys made sliding marks in the slush
while out on the driveway.
It made me smile to see how they chose to get from A to B.

Still, I feel the weight of it
(the snow, this day, this season)
and a bit melancholy.
But, while it is heavy
I can't help but be thankful
for the burden. It is so lovely.

I looked at the wall of photos I made last night,
stopped and looked many times today

prints from pre-digital camera days-

My kids were often at the wall, too.
They'd stare and point and laugh,
they had never seen many of those photos.
They are happy to see my heart on display.
My valentine to my family.

I think I will never take it down,
only add to it - make the heart swell to fill the wall
and all the walls of this little house.

Grey days or not...
Shame on me if I ever forget,
for even one second,
the abundance of my life.
The love that surrounds me.

The Soldier, the Milkman and the Frumpy Housewife.

2011-12-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be driven to have a picture-perfect Christmas or house, yard, or kids with combed hair (or me with combed hair), matching socks, etc.

I love how it looks. Everything put together. It's so nice. And safer, too - I always worry about our milkman having to mince around and dodge who-knows-what's been left out on the back porch in the middle of the night.

But the fact of the matter is, I just don't want to stress over that kind of stuff, you know? Am I lazy? Hm... I prefer to regard my nature as "easy going to a fault".

Lately I have been thinking about my approach and I would like to adopt a more constructed way of living. Not to please anyone else or anything, but just because some things just don't happen on their own (like matching socks and refinshed kitchen tables). As much as I love the free and easy natural charm of life - sometimes I want the shiny-pretty, formed thing.

I won't go overboard though (as if I was capable of doing so). Every once in a great while, my current approach to life has a away of working out:

CASE IN POINT

Maybe you see damaged goods. I see daily Christmas joy! There he stands, stoic and erect, dutiful and oh, so serious -but then- he has only half a mustache! Hilarious. A nutcracker with a sense of humor. You can't buy one of those anywhere.

Another Year Older...

2011-12-12T10:16:00.001-07:00

Once you arrived

You made my life attached, for good,

to that which I love

for which I feel completely responsible

and yet cannot really control

I learned what it means to sacrifice

and it wasn't easy for me

to give my body, my whole self

a flesh naturally inclined toward self-comfort

and ease

-but I was happy to do it-

because you were amazing to behold

a wonder which I could call, "My Own"

And still, as I look on

You, needing me a little less each year

(While I, ever fixed to you)

I am still amazed

You are a wonder

a gift

and true joy

to my soul.

2011-12-06T14:23:00.001-07:00

Review of November goals:

My heart wasn't in it. I felt compelled into making the goals because there are 30 days in the month and somehow I got it into my brain that I had to do something because it was a 30 day month. Silly.

In the context of the November goals I made on the blog, November was, as my son Jack would say, "a total fail". That's not to say that there weren't some small, shining moments:

I did meet (and exceed) my indexing goal. Admittedly, that was just the luck of not knowing what to anticipate and not being able to make an accurate guess as to what would be considered a real challenge. It was cake.

And, though I didn't post everyday, I really did make time each day (in prayer, in mediation) to consider all those things for which I am grateful. This goal made for a happy November. It is a habit I hope to adopt as second-nature. A joyful life requires it, and I like being happy.

As for the other stuff? Meh.

And so, that's it. I could call it a flop. I normally would focus on all the ways in which I failed, and berate myself for being so lame that I can't even make my bed everyday for a month (I mean, how hard is it, really?). But then I heard something at a church meeting this weekend. A man I know as Elder Baxter said something really interesting, and it helped me a lot. To paraphrase;

In the court of self-judgement, do not allow only evidence from the prosecution. Allow evidence from the defense as well! Give each equal floor time!

And so, if I am to evaluate all of November itself (and even just the blog goals themselves), I would say I have had a really great month. November wasn't a flop. It was a gift. I wasn't a flop. There is much to improve, sure, but I also learned some valuable things as a result of the goals I made. I am grateful to have had the time and I am looking forward to even better things in December.

2011-11-11T07:25:00.001-07:00

Young Women - the girls, the leaders, the program. It is so much fun to be a part of and has really blessed my life.

Coming home thinking about the messy kitchen I'm about to walk into - and when I open the door? My oldest boy is just finishing up the dishes (having already made and cleaned up lunch for the other kids). No one asked him to do it, blessed boy! Made my day.

Celebrating a beautiful life that ended too soon. A woman who lives a simple, good life makes a very big difference. Dear Faye has taught me a few lessons about how to make a life sweet and meaningful. I am sad for my friend who had to say goodbye to her mother, but I am grateful for her friendship and example. Her words were a sweet expression of the ultimate joy that comes from a mother/daughter relationship.

Grateful for those who serve my country. As someone stated, "they write the ultimate blank check". What a service, what a sacrifice!

Ice water. Have I already said that one?

These are long and there is so much more to be thankful for, but I need to get off this chair :)

2011-11-09T16:30:00.002-07:00

A FEW MORE REASONS TO BE GRATEFUL:

* Good, lovely girlfriends who make me laugh and who are just plain awesome.
* The ravioli at the Dodo. Mmmmm.....
* Cute Eddie getting so excited and showing me what he learned at school.
* My puffy coat.
* This gorgeous, delicious day!
* Watching Eddie make his spinach, yogurt, peanut butter, orange juice, hot chocolate, blueberry, banana, milk smoothie. (he loved it).
* ice water
* hot water/hot showers
* my blender
* i have shelter

2011-11-07T21:42:00.000-07:00

abundant goodness comes

-during entertaining (and surprising) conversations with the children (I will likely write about it later),

-during another crisp evening walk with Sam,

-from a great conversation with my dear sister,

-with Sam cheerfully helping, smiling, being so awesome,

-in being stocked up on fresh fruits and veggies and pickled asparagus spears (yay Costco!),

-from choosing not to beat myself up about my lackadaisical approach to my November goals

I am thankful. I hope your day was lovely, too.

2011-11-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

grateful for:

-church this morning
-my bed (which I didn't make today)
-herbal tea
-watching Ada devour her book
-betime (goodnight)

2011-11-05T22:11:00.001-06:00

I am grateful for this day! It was delightful, lovely, so very nice in every way.

1. I woke up early and walked outside to the softest, quietest, fluffliest snowfall. It was magic.

2. I then drove to an early morning "band practice". I've been lucky to sing with two amazing women and the Stratford Street Big Band the last little while. These singers are so much more talented/experienced/trained/etc. than I am, but they've let me tag along and I am LOVING it. It's mostly 40's style swing/dance music. I am thankful they let me sing with them, it's a blast!

3. Afternoon date with Sam at the mall. I've never been a big shopper. But I love shopping with Sam. He encourages me to try the fancy perfumes and is always great company. He makes me laugh and is a good friend.

4. Then I got to babysit my darling nieces. Two of my kids came along, which made tending easy as pie and lots of fun. I love my family. I love those sweet little girls.

Niece Milo & Daughter (super helper) Ada

5. Now I'm safe at home. I'm thankful to have a roof over my head, and children tucked in soundly.

6. I felt pretty good today. I think the gorgeous weather helped.

So much to be thankful for today.

2011-11-04T18:03:00.003-06:00

I am grateful for washers and dryers. Such lovely machines! I honestly can't believe how behind I get doing laundry, considering how little I have to do to get clean clothes!

P.S. If you've ever been curious about making your own laundry detergent, this is my newest favorite way to do it.

It's not hard to make, it works great, makes your kitchen smell clean and is very inexpensive. (It doesn't make suds, so I hear you can use it in front loading machines as well).

Here's the link to the recipe and instructions (and source of detergent photo):

http://whynotsew.blogspot.com/2010/08/how-to-make-homemade-laundry-detergent.html

2011-11-03T15:20:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful for...

- The beautiful woman who acted as an interpreter and signed for a student during the LiVe assembly this morning. I'm grateful for people who do meaningful things for the one. I couldn't help but tear up for some reason. Watching the sweet girl's face, and this woman who was interpreting so fast (she was amazing). It made me think about how I could be better spending my days.
- The gorgeous flowers I received today. What a sweet surprise!!
- My bed (we have been good friends today). I did make it, though!
- Medicine
- To have had the job I've had the last 4 years. It has been fun and not too invasive on my home life.
- That I don't have any more assemblies to attend (until spring, anyway) - I need to be home right now.
- My hardworking husband.

2011-11-02T19:51:00.001-06:00

Today, I am thankful for...

My dear mother.

I love her so.

She's a sweet and devoted mother


Mom in blue, Aunt Laura in pink

Fierce defender of the underdog and middle-child

I see myself in this picture and it gives me hope...

...that maybe I can look this good in my mid 40's

(or heck, even mid 30's)

She has a passion for learning, for art, for dance

She's always trying something new and making good friends along the way

She loves being an Oma (Grandma)

30 days to....

2011-11-01T20:12:00.001-06:00

...A Healthy November?
...Being more well-rounded?

I don't know what to call it. Just a few simple goals I am going to work on this month...

1. Don't scoff, but here's my first goal: Make my bed every day (and have kids make their beds each day). EVERY. DAY. (My kids are actually better at this than I am). It only takes minutes and makes such a difference in the bedroom to have a tidy bed.

2. 30 green drinks. It is hard for me to make something cold when it's cold outside, but it's such an easy way to get a lot of fruits and veggies in.

3. A daily list of things I am grateful for.

TODAY:
* The beautiful grey and snowy drive to Vernal -- time to listen to great music, see a beautiful landscape and daydream about what I want most in life. It was a good day.
* A chilly night time walk with Sam.
* A clean kitchen after dinner.
* Good friends (who help me out on a moments notice).

4. 5 hours of indexing.

That's it. It might seem kind of boring, but this makes a perfect November challenge: I don't do any of these things regularly - they are simple, measurable and doable -they are small ways to bless my days during this busy and cold time of year.

2011-10-20T21:58:00.002-06:00

Just of few of the beauties in this day consist of; perfect fall temperatures and a van that works (a.k.a 'Shrek') and a boy who lays next to me on the bed and chats.

Ever since my boy could move himself away from me, he has always made a point to "check in" several times a day.

As a baby, he would explore and play and then army crawl to me and just sit on my lap for a while.

I remember noticing this was a regular thing, and particular to Jack, when he was three years old. We were vacationing somewhere with family and I noticed how, several times a day, he stopped playing with cousins and came to sit on my lap for a while.

He still does this. Taking regular breaks from playing with friends, he marches in - tall and skinny - a full-fledged boy covered in dirt. He sits at the table next to me and sighs, "How you doin', Mom?" We hang out for a bit and chat. Then he heads out again.

Today he asked me what Dad and I are going to do when the nest is empty. I said (with a wink) that I will cry and tear my hair out and not know what to do with myself. He smiled. I then said (soberly) that he better come and visit.

"Oh. I will" - he says.

I know it. And it makes me grateful to have been gifted with such a darling. To count only the blessings that come from having a boy like Jack are ample enough to get me through any day.

Where traditions are born

2011-10-13T21:43:00.001-06:00

They are born in things like;

Last minute weekend excursions...

Our in-laws invited us to join them on an overnighter to fabulous Manti, Utah. A tiny, lovely little town which showcases a most lovely LDS temple.

My mother in law took most of these photos:

We stopped in Springville, Utah - explored an old drug store and then found some pretty good mexican food;

We then enjoyed an evening of Yahtzee at the May Cottage (a darling little place where Cristie and Jerry stayed):

Sam and I were treated to a most lovely room at the Manti Inn. Each room is named after old LDS prophets who were known to stay there while visiting Manti. Our room is called the Heber J. Grant room. The window looks out at the temple. I loved laying in bed at night and seeing the soft white glow of that beautiful edifice on the hill. It was most lovely.

This hotel is old, quaint, and so very Utah Pioneer-esque (you'd probably have to live here to know what I mean).

I only had my phone camera and it was dark, so the pictures don't do this darling room justice. And the bed? THE MOST COMFORTABLE bed I have ever slept on.


Antique memorabilia laid out on the antique hutch

The next morning we visited the Manti temple. It was most lovely.

On our way back home, we made frequent stops, discovering an amazing place to eat called Rodgers (I will be back) and even an old, hidden cemetery in Indianola, where we discovered some of Sam's ancestors.

Sam and I keep talking about how much fun this trip was. I often feel so lucky to have married into such a wonderful family. I loved spending time with them and I can't wait to do this again!

What I Learned in 30 Days

2011-10-03T10:28:00.001-06:00

of Photography:

- There is more to my point and shoot, then point and shoot. I learned some great tricks.
- If I don't set a goal, or make a conscious decision to take pictures, I take NO pictures!
-There is so much to learn about lighting, how a camera works, what makes a good photo (photo editing can only do so much).
-It's a fun way to capture your life, but in a way, it makes you detached from it, too. There needs to be a balance.
-I enjoyed the process

of Poetry:

- I have to be in the mood.
- I'm usually only in the mood when I'm sad
- I think I should still try and write something everday.
- But I think, maybe I should spend several days on something, instead of coming up with short burst of "whatever" each day.
- I should never EVER again write a poem about writing poems. Why do I do this? (I know why. It's because I'm so insecure).
- I need to read more poetry. I love it.
-This sparked my desire to play guitar again, sing again. It's time to get back on that horse. It does make me happy. (Maybe November's 30 day challenge?)

****

I think I will continue to do 30 day challenges in those 30 day months (and maybe February, too, just for kicks). I like doing it, even if I'm not sure it does me much good (when it comes to bonafide development and growth).

It is fulfilling in a way.
So, yeah.

Not Too Late

2011-10-01T14:13:00.001-06:00

{day 30}

so many people to love
so much more of them i would know -
i feel i must make better use of
this short walk of life 'fore i go.

Temptation

2011-09-29T14:11:00.000-06:00

{day 29}

(2) hundred dollar bills
and truffles (au suisse)
a devlish grin, a handsome offer
a promise of utter bliss

relinquish this game?
(going 6 months long)
time which has been spent
trying to be strong

in resisiting desserts
and sodas and treats
feeling I've already
accomplished a feat

now I can end this
completely risk free!
from this bet that I made
when I was a wee-

-bit out of my mind,
Oh! what would YOU do?
Take the money and run, or
continue to stay true -

compete? play the game?
i shall go for the gold!
only problem is,
i'll just be too old

to enjoy the cash spoils,
when this whole thing ends-
should have taken the dough
made the truffles my friend,again.

And Now For Something Really Good...

2011-09-28T21:30:00.003-06:00

{day 28 - Happy Birthday Ali and Carter!!!}

...as in, actual poetry.

Today I produce a poem which is not my own. It is Sam's (my husband).

Technically this counts as part of my 30 day challenge because I am his muse (wink, wink) and so, in a way, this writing is inspired by me and therefore comes from me.

Ha! Okay, Okay, the poem;

***

I rest beneath both feather and wing
yet glimpse the ground below.
The sky above, I fly between-
both stars and fallow soil.

My muse in sight! Two doves did light-
three arm-lengths yon to feed.
To these I offer that which I write-
yet come they have for seed!

~Sam Carter

***

Sam has a beautiful gift for words, for which I know I cannot seriously take any credit. I admit I am extremely jealous of his abilities and feel pretty dumb doing these 30 days of "poetry" when I read stuff like this. But alas, I will not be shut up.

Hmmmm...

2011-09-27T16:30:00.000-06:00

{day 27}

if how i live my day
is a metaphor for how i do my life
then when i am about to die
i will finally notice
i've been wearing my soul inside out
with the tag showing
the whole time

Preaching to the Choir

2011-09-27T09:15:00.000-06:00

{day 26}

sang with my friend
in front of old ladies and men
they closed their eyes
they smiled
they tried to mouth the words as we sang them
when it was a sad song, they nodded their heads

sunken into chairs

room enough in their small, aged laps

to nestle layers of

grief, loss, pain, love, joy, wonder
and a blanket, too.

there wasn't a thing i sang that they didn't know -

the best audience ever.

A a Poem Within a Poem, a Love within a Love

2011-09-26T10:12:00.002-06:00

{day 25}

September sun declares
a clean as crystal view
Beloved marveled at the sight line
being able to see so far, so clear
I marveled, once again, at him -
he is always seeing things
I am grateful he stays close

A gathering, a home
fresh babies, sage grandfolk
and all in between -
a buzzing of life and love,
we celebrate births and tell our stories
mother asks her parents to read a Carver poem,
they take turns;

(grandpa) - and did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?
(grandma) - i did.
(grandpa) - and what did you want?
(grandma) - to call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

My mother's mother
choked at the words
they are true in her life -
her man of this world and forever
has loved her fiercely
without rest
theirs is a power undeniable
healing, sanctifying

Later we (My love and I)
faced one another and played music
we tried to find the sweetest songs
everything was new
Beloved sang his heart out

I felt a soothing joy
in this work, in trying to find the right song
for other lover's sweet
to celebrate another life and a love
having just seen, on the clearest day of days
the bounty of my own,

My own beloved state-
I feel to buckle my whole self to the floor
and weep for joy
in gratitude.

*Quoted poem (in italics) is titled, A Late Fragment, by Raymond Carver

Poor, Poor Ada

2011-09-23T04:58:00.002-06:00

{day 24}

It's 4 a.m now
went for my bed at one
little did I know
I was not nearly done

dear Ada is sick
her tummy aches so
writhing and moaning
wond'ring if I should go

to the emergency room
three hours later
feeling no better
No sleep for the "Tater"

No sleep for the mother
trying to nurse
trying to sleep and
be prepared for the worst...

appendicitis, food poisoning
maybe just gas?
a 4am bath tells us
this illness might pass

Still, I'm dressed and I'm ready
should fever ensue
or pain start to worsen
or signs of the flu

start to take up the morning
with an ER trip, too -
So I write a poem now
isn't that what you'd do?
(you know, just in case I'm gone all day)
Now I am off
to get a drink for my girl
My sweet little Ada
What a night! What a whirl!

A Day Which Breaks Your Heart...

2011-09-22T20:59:00.000-06:00

{day 23}

some have asked me
what is it like to be a mother?
How does one possibly describe this...

What is it like
to have a head on your neck?
What I mean is,
it's as obvious and understated and as essential
as the head that comes up from my neck.

or, to put it another way -

i remember
holding my baby boy
mesmerized by the bend of time
here he was,
brand new in my arms and yet -
it always was
always will be

and here,
here is the point of no return

so,
to love
to feel a bind so essential -
then to have lost
they say it is better than not
and i agree

there are lost loves
which cannot be replaced
like a mother and her son
when it happens,
it seems a violent tearing of that sacred cord
which binds humanity

this isn't meant to be depressing
remember, i held a bundled newborn
and could comprehend unthwartable eternity
in love,
in relationship

but today
I will mourn with that sweet boy
not in hopelessness
but in the ache of having to say goodbye
too soon.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

2011-09-21T17:34:00.001-06:00

-Indigo Montoya (The Princess Bride)

{Day 22}

Words are often a peculiar thing
I really like them so -
but it can be hard to use them
when the meaning does not flow

If you need an example, well,
today I thought - perfunctory -
this word should not include the fun
it leads me to perplexity

not to mention inevitible misuse
this word which rolls so, off the tongue
a pleasure to say - multi-syllables, too
makes the definition just seem wrong!

***
per • func • to • ry [per-fuhngk-tuh-ree]

adjective

1. performed merely as a routine duty; hasty and superficial: perfunctory courtesy.

2. lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent or apathetic: In his lectures he reveals himself to be merely a perfunctory speaker.

Second Guessing

2011-09-20T22:29:00.000-06:00

{day 21}

nine more poems is all i've left
and as with most goals, i'm left wanting

authentic cast is what i sought,
only now it seems a shallow canting

a writer of poetry? is that what i am?
sometimes i feel a need for planting

but what becomes of it? what has grown?
lately it only feels like ranting.

September Day

2011-09-20T14:44:00.001-06:00

{day 20}

Today I hunger
for trees and trails

Yet work I must
in the dust and scales

of this humble abode
old and sweet

Will make my home
"a bliss complete"

While at the task
making windows shine

Smells from sky
flow in like wine

I will drink it up
while I work away

When I am done
I am sure to play!

(*Happy, Happy Birthday Jaye!!! Love you!!!)

The Whistling Song

2011-09-19T23:13:00.000-06:00

(Technically these are lyrics I wrote...it counts, right?)

[verse 1]

You know those days
when you're walkin' down the street
feelin' fine (so fine)
sunshine on your back

you just have to give a smile
to the stranger who passed by you
cause hey, it's the neighborly thing to do
but just then you take a misstep or two and you -

well you find...

that you fall, fall, fall to the ground
just when you thought you couldn't get down
now you start to feel blue,
well, there's only one thing to do - you just

roll over
look up at the sky
give it one more try and I,

I hope you remember me
fondly.

[verse 2]

The only times I want a dog, are
when I see one pass by in a car
head out the window
wind in the face
it puts me in a happy place, so,

Would you be my dog for a day?
Would you look at me, as if to say,
that you just love me so and
you wanna play all day?

well,

Now I know that's not
a very good analogy
for human friendship,
but I'm hoping that you'll understand me, 'cause

sometimes
when I'm feelin' fine (so fine)
and I think I can't go wrong
Well, I run at the mouth too long...

and I fall, fall, fall to the ground
I really hope I didn't let you down
or start to make you feel blue
well there's only one thing that we can do

roll over
look up at the sky
maybe give me just one more try
and I hope you'll remember me

fondly

[verse 3]

Hey, You,
with the dashing smile -
I've been watching you awhile,
and even though I know
you're not mine to claim,
I've got something to say
just the same;

I...

hope you have a nice day.

May not sound like much to say to you
but I really hope you're days are good, it's true!
And that you never, ever feel blue
but when you do
('cause you will...)

fall, fall, fall to the ground
I hope you know that I will be around
And when you start to feelin' blue
there's only one thing for you to do

roll over
look up at the sky
just give it one more try

Oh I hope you remember me
fondly.

Memoir

2011-09-18T23:05:00.000-06:00

{day 18}

she looked in the mirror
she was working on her 26th year

she saw, in her round face,
a flower in it's fullest bursting bloom
a physical pinnacle

she half-wished, looking into her reflection
she had made better use of it -
it had been a life of capricious tending

she sighed.
shrugged her shoulders.

after all

these five years plus, she had put away childish things -
not much time to worry about
youth and beauty and fleeting concepts like, "prime"

she turned her head from side to side
eyes fixed and calculating -
a voice inside her warned,
'this is as good as it is going to get'
which she repeated aloud

she shook off the moment
walked away from her youthful face.
she thought she had accepted the reality of it all-
that she would be okay with it.

ah, yes

it is easiest to accept the inevitable wilting
on that florid day
when you are the fieriest bloom on the bush.

(Happy Birthday Dear Tim, who is sure to be out on a run about now, and looks decades younger than he actually is! Love you, Dad)

Rival-reek (A Haiku)

2011-09-17T23:23:00.001-06:00

{day 17}

cougar fumble-fest
four precious hours, groaning
wish they'd come to play

Maybe Someday Soon

2011-09-16T19:17:00.002-06:00

{Day 16}

Last night I dreamt of shining eyes
and a laugh so sweet -

A loving touch, an easy gaze
a familiar voice complete

with kindness, fondness and open words,
a friendship tried and true-

When I awoke I wished I could
give that back to you.

Who Can Find a Virtuous Woman?

2011-09-15T14:57:00.000-06:00

{day 15}

shimmering auburn waves
like a fiery crown,
she is a queen
who possesses every virtue
of the the divine call.

she fights every battle
with courage and strength
fiercely protects her own
charging ahead of her cavalry

amidst the maelstrom
she is struck down -
a full year
in and out
of the hospital

with each visit
her insides are removed
piece by piece
saving only what's necessary
to keep fighting

i see now
the empty space was needed
to make room
for her ever growing lion heart

Fool's Gold

2011-09-15T07:16:00.000-06:00

I will keep scribbling things down
tap-tapping on the keyboard
I will do this
until the genius comes out
--it is taking so much longer
than I would like

Do you know, does anyone else out there understand
the misery of a dead tongue?
unable to express
what is seen and understood?
To have a profound experience which you are only able
to retell in deflated description?

I saw a sunset yesterday that would have saved your life
if your life needed saving
and to save my own, I can't explain it to you now.

Does anyone else know what it feels like,
to have a cavernous mind?
Yes, that's the metaphor for my brain...
Deep? Maybe.
Pitch. Absolutely.

Mining for the right words
It is a clamor,
desperately digging and blindly searching,
feeling aimless
I was sure there was a purpose

So now I resort to recklessly scratching at clumps of key strokes
which crumble into
the
same
dull
words.

This weakness is madness.

procrastination

2011-09-13T23:31:00.002-06:00

{day 13}

it is late
i am sleepy

but i've got
a goal to keepy

the though of writing
makes me weepy

maybe you think
this poem is creepy

but goal is met,
snuggled in my teepee-

now i go to bed!

Because I Have Some Regrets

2011-09-12T21:04:00.002-06:00

{day 12}

when it comes to the mystery of time
perspicuity comes in retrospection
now i see -
we insist upon things
or we don't
time does not care

and so i will discard it-
the persistent counting
as if there is a beginning and an end

it is so flawed
so many limiting presuppositions
early
late
in time
(or on it)

only a container
a box
to categorize and label
then close up

maybe you disagree
maybe you say;

time is a tool
a motivator
keeps us from chaos
from wasting our lives

maybe

i think i will measure my life
under a different paradigm;

the sun is up
i am here!
there are things i want
and do not have

i am going to get them
choice by tiny choice -
pay attention
i will measure this way -
when i know better,
i will do it

i insist upon it.

Where Were You?

2011-09-11T08:53:00.000-06:00

{Day 11}

I was in a cocoon
three babies under three
smothered by feeding times
diaper changes
nothing was my own anymore,
time or body or space
constantly wriggling to find room
for sleep

Beloved in his own cocoon
wrapped in work
having just graduated
four mouths to feed
breathing was hard
he was wrapped so tight

one day he calls me
tells me to turn on our
shoebox of a telly
"which channel?" i say
"doesn't matter" he says

I was holding two babies,
another clutched my leg
I crouched down
settled them on the floor
while I watched the burning building

i stood there
dumbfounded
phone in the crook of my neck
wriggling babies all over the floor
in the free world

"what is happening?" i say
"i don't know, i don't know" he says
and then
another airplane
making another
gaping
hole

smoke and crumbling

he and I were not
separate in that moment
or sheltered in the cocoons of
our tiny lives

a naivity shed together
exposed to a bigger,
terrifying reality

A Spiritual Quest

2011-09-10T21:28:00.000-06:00

{Day 10}

a holy patriarch uttered my name
and it was written on
2 full pages, single spaced, small font
- of the mortal promises i made

so
many
promises

so typical of me
i can see it
eager, willing
wanting to do so much
having heroic intentions
for this life, this experience
not having a clue
what i'm getting myself into

and then, as it so often has been
when put to the test
barely, just barely average
having to scramble at the end
to be good enough
to "pass the exam"

but

a death bed repentance
is not good enough
is not what i promised

in that holy and sweet prayer
reminded
i said
i would

in those days before days
and now it is days upon days
they slip through me like hand-cupped water

running faster will not help
wisdom is what i need
what i should have asked for
before i left on my journey

wisdom
is what i pray for
each day

Initiation

2011-09-09T00:00:00.000-06:00

we drove awhile
we stopped
i watched them buy cheetos, oreos and snickers bars.

we drove some more
back,
back
into the hills
and walked even further in
along the railroad tracks

tucked in this place
i was learning all their secrets
this father and son who love to wander
seeking solitude in rushing waters
and fish to outsmart

they taught how me to tie the knots
again
lent me some of their flies
and from this place we parted
stretching ourselves
along the river

i watched my love
his strong, broad back
amble down a steep bank
and his father too, down a ways
with fly rod in hand

they dipped easy into the water
the rocks are slippery
but they know how to pull their legs
against, along, through
the cold, cold current

i found my own spot
i fished a little
mostly for flies tangled in the bushes
lots of unplanned knots
it was a beautiful day anyway

just before we left,
my father in law urged me
"one more cast" "let's get you a fish"
sweetheart had the camera ready

lo and behold
i got a rise
i set the hook
i reeled that pretty little fish in
we hooted
we high-fived

those men
who from the start
saw my longing to go
let me tag along
even though i am a girl

they let me see
their secret nook in the mountains,
partake of their motherless lunch,
listen to stories and jokes I could tell
had been recast
many times
for many years

i love them.
i loved that day.

Blessed Three Times and Forever...

2011-09-07T20:45:00.000-06:00

One
is the one who calls to inform me
he is at the widow's house
helping her sort out shoes
which will be given to those in need,
and then he'd like to go and play.

Two
is the one, barely a decade old
who has an SAT score
marked repeatedly with
PHS
(post high school)
but will always defer to his mother
because he cares about feelings more than anything else

Three
is the one who cannot be told
determined to learn in her own way -
and in her own world.
i am not at all nervous.
she is unbreakable in her happiness,
dancing always to a song in her heart.

*darling photo courtesy of Lizzie Carter. (click on her name to see some great photog skills. you won't be sorry.)

the Ugly Unbosoming

2011-09-07T00:21:00.000-06:00

Thou shalt not covet
one explained this as, "counting another person's blessings"
i know the sin

if you don't know
it feels like bile
green churning in your belly
sour heat which burns
from your guts and up into your eyes
you blink
you try to swallow it down
it makes you sick
makes you want to bawl and hide
so you can hate yourself where no one can see you

my problem
is what i covet
the longer i live
the harder i try
i fear i shall never obtain
but be forced to live and
see what i desperately covet
in another woman's form

i don't know how to remedy this-

it's not her fortune or family
i am more than satisfied with my own

it's not her car or dwelling
i don't care much for material things

it's not her handsome features
even if by comparison her profile is much more pleasing

no,
it's her character

coveting character is a silly thing, i know
it's not reserved only for some with the right name
and others by strategic measures of
marriage or birth or by the tricking of the fates
character -
it is attainable by everyone
and yet,

i struggle
and fight
and try to be better
and just when i think i'm on the right path

she walks into the room
not a muse
not an ideal
a fresh and real live woman
magnanimously embodying

focus
quality
virtue
discipline
strength
and more
she wafts this ample bundle
while leaping through her days
doesn't stop

and i?
i struggle to carry and collect
dragging one obstinate and lazy foot
must stop to rest
every few minutes
only then realizing what i've dropped
having to go back and pick up the mess
again and again

we are all running our own race
i know it
we all have our own bundle to carry
and claim
to compare is to lose sight of the real goal
i know that too, i do!
but, and this is my deadly sin -

i can't help but see the glaring difference
the possibilities
the breadth of my lacking
when she breezes in

no longer young enough
to be under the illusion of ample time
regret creeps in for what i have not done

and while i continue to try (i will not give up)
i seem doomed to a thick and fast
gulping down of that caustic fetor
every time i see what she,
in the very same years,
has become

she-
lovely
faith-filled
good
courage
shiny like a new penny (as they say)-
she is doing it

while i fumble along -
awkward
messy
insanely slow
ever distracted
watching
with wonder

with envy.

Springtime Self-Sabotage

2011-09-06T00:00:00.007-06:00

200 dollars

2 swimsuits

4 cup cakes

127 teaspoons of frosting

one

day.

*NOTE TO TREAT CHALLENGERS: this event took place before our challenge began. Just want to be clear, I'm still in the game!

Sow Sweet

2011-09-04T23:57:00.000-06:00

Little Miss Piglet

Wore a burgundy wiglet

To make up for that which she lacked.

"There's no hair on my head"

the piglet, she said,

"And I've a big spot on my back."

Lad Piglet, said he,

(for a good friend he be)

"You need to cut you some slack!"

"Don't you see that your spot

is a jewel, and a lot

like an onyx, shiny and black?"

"And your pink crown when bare,

really showcases there,

Smart eyes and soft lips I would smack!"

* Image credit (minus obvious editing) here

In the Day Today

2011-09-03T23:19:00.000-06:00

finally pulled out paints for my boy
he'd been asking for days
mom's been too busy for a mess

...
left to write an inquiry
sent the message hoping
to find reciprocation in friendship
didn't get it

caught myself, once again
living in a dream world
felt dumb in forgetting
some relationships just won't pan out

...
came back to clean up the paints
praised my boy for his fine creative work
looked it over, ooh-ing and ahh-ing
saw a light in his face, a satisfaction

there it was.
right there.
validation I had been longing for, a reality
from the bluest (truest) eyes I've ever seen
love given and returned in a flash, small and sweet

whatever happens in the hours to follow
it is a good day

Coming Back to Town...

2011-09-03T07:24:00.000-06:00

we yelled in the driveway
we have neighbors who watch
we didn't care, because
i hurt his feelings
and he hurt mine
-he wanted to come first in my life
-I wanted to be first in his
we couldn't see
while standing in the driveway
that our hurt and anger proved
we are

*painting: Man and Woman by Fernando Botero

Ode to the Wind

2011-09-02T09:31:00.000-06:00

when you whip my hair

and take my breath

you ignite the embers in my chest

stirring to rolling flames

the desire to live

and grow

and sweep the earth

burn-tasting everything I come to

*Image: The West Wind by Winslow Homer

(Another) 30 day Challenge

2011-09-01T07:15:00.002-06:00

I've decided to write a poem each day

in September (though not sure what I'll say).

Likely it won't amount to much

but creativity is really such

an important part of being me

that's why I pick this challenge, you see.

I realize these words I write now are trifle

but it's my blog, so I will not stifle

my desire to express, to write and to grow

and perhaps a good line or two I will sow.

Day thirty: Self-Portrait

2011-08-31T21:56:00.000-06:00

...as if there aren't enough of these on here
(heh)

day twenty-nine: BOKEH

2011-08-31T17:55:00.000-06:00

Remember the photography challenge? Well, I have to finish up because I'm going to start another challenge tomorrow.

Ugh - today's challenge is called;

BOKEH

After looking it up, I realized I was in a bit of trouble.

Bokeh basically involves composing a deliberate blurriness (in a way) - you know those photos that have a focus point that is crisp and sharp, and then everything else around it kind of blurs together in the background? Some people even use special lenses to break up light into dots. Occasionally people will create heart shaped or star shaped lenses to break the light up into tiny, pretty shapes.

Pretty cool.
Pretty impossible with my point and shoot.
Shoot.

I gave it a go anyway! And here's what I came up with:

Not great, but I kind of did it. This was hard. I think I could do better with a little more practice.

It's been fun to learn a little more about my camera.

ONE more to go, and then I can start the new challenge!

Bear Lake Brawl 70.3 in the Books. I did it!!!

2011-08-29T21:21:00.005-06:00

I accomplished my goal!

I finished a half-ironman distance triathlon, which consists of;
- a 1.2 mile swim
- a 56 mile bike ride
- a 13.1 mile run

I finished in 6:46:14, which is not a fast time, but considering my goal was to finish before the 8 hour deadline I was ecstatic about it!

I had a great day, I couldn't stop smiling. I don't know why, but I love the triathlon. The training, the comradarie, the challenge and adventure. The variety...it's just fun! Maybe soon I will post some more pictures (or video...my dad took lots of video).

blogger is not being cooperative, though, and I am a little self-conscious about plastering this post with pictures of me in a tri-suit.

I am so glad I saw this through, and I'm so thankful for friends who helped me get up and train:

My sisters in law: We'd been up for three hours and were feeling silly. These girls would get up at 3:45am and walk with me for hours (and Valerie, too, who is not pictured) - sometimes in the freezing cold rain. I love them. They are so, so awesome and I hope we will keep walking.

A month before the race, my parents (who live in Bear Lake) took my kids and I was free to swim, bike and run to ease my nerves and get ready. Then, on race day they took over again, and were the best cheerleaders!

My brother Jonny. Back in November, I told my brother I wanted to do a Half-Ironman. I asked if he would do it with me, and without hesitation, he said, "Sure!" "But that means we're really doing it." He is a die-hard, weekend warrior, signing up for all sorts of crazy races. When he puts his mind to something, he doesn't give himself an out, and he wouldn't let me, either.

My darling friend Julie. I saw her at the gym in the winter (she's always at the gym). We had done a tri together before, and I really wanted to train with her again. She signed up for the Olympic distance. This girl is an animal, she can average 17mph on her MOUNTAIN BIKE. She called me regularly and trained harder than I did. She went open water swimming with me and helped me get over that fear. Julie made the whole process fun!

And of course my kids and my Sam. Sam's office is at home and he willingly spent a lot of time doing double duty with the kids until I could come home from long training mornings. He never complained and always acted like this race was in the bag. That I could do it. That was a huge boost for me.

All in all it was a beautiful day and I had a blast!

Can it Be Saturday Now?

2011-08-25T18:56:00.002-06:00

I need to vent ~~a little~~ a LOT and I will start by sharing an aspect of my personality I'm not particularly proud of:

I resist making big goals, or more accurately, I resist working hard toward big goals, because I'm afraid of failure.

If I fail at a goal that I sort of approached willy-nilly, then I have my reason for failing - I didn't really try, so big deal. Somehow I've perceived that notion as much better than really giving my all and in the end not being good enough. I know that's ridiculous, that this fear of failure is what's keeping me from bigger and better things.

In that light and with a desire to really change how i "do life" - I made one of my resolutions in January to complete a race that is well beyond my physical capabilities (or was at the time). It's one that I've wanted to do for a long time.

I've been working toward this goal since then and now Saturday is D-day. The day where I get to see what I'm made of. It's not like I'm even trying to win the thing. I just want to finish, is all. That would be a big deal for me. That's my goal.

This week leading up to it has been dreadful. I am having a terrible case of the "what-ifs". If I don't accomplish this goal, I won't know how to handle it. Because I actually worked for this one. Maybe not perfectly, but diligently. I kept it as a real focus - despite time constraints, injuries (a bike crash) and lack of sleep (3:45am start times) - I kept moving toward this goal. What if it's all for not in the end, HUH???

Then there's my competitive nature. My PRIDE... There have been a few, who upon hearing of my goal, took one shocked look up and down my fleshy, middle aged frame and actually asked me stupid questions, like, "You realize how long that race is, don't you?" or "Do you even know how to swim?" or "Oh wow. I hope you've been training!"

Dee. You. Eytch.

Yeah, I'd love to stick it to those haters. ;)

UGH. Why can't I just be fun? Just go and have an adventure, see what happens?

Come Saturday morning I will be in a better state of mind, I know I will. Until then, I have this knot in my gut that is driving me crazy!!!

I suppose that if I don't (for whatever reason) finish - it will be good for me to have pursued a goal, long term, and measure those results. It's not a loss. It's not for nothing!
And really, in this way, I suppose I've already met my main goal - changing the way I approach things, giving something a GO - really going after it, seeing what I'm made of.

Okay, now I feel better. Wish me luck!!!

Ask For Steve (or Stephen)

2011-08-18T20:24:00.001-06:00

...at the Verizon store on Fort Union blvd.

Why? Because he's a super nice, friendly, go-above-and-beyond kind of guy.

That's why.

Remember when I mentioned that my new iphone was stolen? Well...

Someone (the dirty rotten thief? Or maybe his/her mother?) dumped my phone at a Verizon store. It was unusable because of too many attempts to figure out the access code.

So there it sat in the back room of the store, for a few weeks, waiting for someone to come claim it.

But Steve got sick of looking at the thing and thought to himself; somebody wants this phone back... It was probably stolen. And so he took it home.

He plugged it in.

He hacked into it which erased everything on my phone, except the serial number.

Then he looked up the serial number, just to see if this phone was attached to a verizon account. (It was!)

And then he called me. A good six weeks after my purse was stolen, I'd gotten my phone back!

Let's here it for Steve!!! Woot!

Stiff, Clean Laundry...(A True and Simple Story)

2011-08-11T22:34:00.010-06:00

She (the daughter) was in trouble and was displaying a very poor attitude. So, I (the mother) brassed onto her eardrums and told her to take her friend home and then go to bed, her day was over. She stood there, glaring and nettled, then turned and left.

I stood there alone for a moment, watching the storm door gradually closing. It was then that it happened. I knew what to do.

She would not go to bed upon returning.

Instead, she and I went into the backyard to gather the laundry which had been drying on the line. I taught her how to fold the tea towels in half, then into thirds. The larger towels had stiffened in the hot August air and together we shook and softened them up a bit. We talked and laughed, snapping the stiffness into something pliable, wrappable.

As I watched her fumbling, folding, smiling - I wondered at the strong emotion I felt. It was a kind of relief from an almost impending doom. Like the wind from a racing car which zooms by, touseling your hair just as you yank the wandering toddler from the street.

(Please don't misunderstand my metaphor. I am the clueless toddler.)

You see, someone's mother whispered into my ear today. Told me to stop yelling and just do a little work side by side.

For once, I listened.

And the reward? My daughter's expression was happiness. She said to me, "Thank you, Mom, for teaching me how to do this."

After, we went inside and made dinner together.

***
My life, perhaps, is so simple that I must create substantial meanings in small things in order to feel that there is some great purpose to my easy life. This thought often occurs to me and is what usually prevents me from publicly writing memories like this.

Or perhaps, every once in a while, I am actually seeing things as they really are.

Either way, I felt a moment of peace in motherhood. A moment of clarity, purpose, and a sense that I did right by my girl. And that is my greatest ambition in life,

To do right by My Own.

(Thank you, Mom, for teaching me how to do this).

It Was Only Three Days, but We Used Every Bit of Each One

2011-08-08T22:14:00.000-06:00

I visited my parents (Dad and Step-mom) for a few days last week. It was so nice to see them and spend time with them. They are always so fun and cute with my kids. They just played and played with them. We crammed a lot of activity in just a couple of days;

-Hot tub
-swimming pool

{Milo and Mama}

-tennis
-BB guns

-Basketball

-Nee-Nee rides* (My dad taught all the kids how to drive and steer the 4 wheelers by themselves. He is a brave man.)

{My dad and Ada}

My brother Jonny came up with his hottie wife and adorable daughters. Such a sweet and darling family.

{Kristin (hottie) and Harper (sweetie-pie)}


{Grandpa painting fingernails for the first time in his life. But how could he say "no" to that face?}

Jonny and I are training for a triathlon at the end of August. It's going to take place at Bear Lake, so we decided to do some training here and get a look at the course. The idea was to ease my mind a little. It did not ease my mind so much...but

I have super whispies. Not even a bike helmet can keep them down

We biked around the lake. It was a gorgeous morning. We were happy with our time and thanks to the rough roads, we both got a chance to learn how to change the tires/tubes on our bikes. At first we just tried the "fill up the tires every 5 minutes until you get home method" which was barrels of fun (not). This is why I have chain grease all over my face. Attractive, I know.

I am amazed everytime I come up here at the view. Every morning, every evening, no matter the season - it's gorgeous.

I can't wait to see them again. My parents are laid back and fun to be around. I miss them already!

*the word "Nee-Nee" was adopted in our family, when one of the grandchildren referred to the ATVs as such...


{blurry picture of my parents setting the example for their grandchildren. I have been wondering where Jack gets his penchant for doing the "bunny ears" every time a camera is present ---until now}

Cousins Breeze In From the Windy City, Adventure Ensues...

2011-07-28T12:52:00.003-06:00

In the beginning, it was the perfect weather for a hike

The foliage was uncommonly green and full (lots of precipitation in our lovely Deseret this year)

Uncle Ed felt particularly daring, or just really wanted a short cut. It looked simple enough, the log "path"

But then the log began to bow and shake, like it might buckle. And the ground underneath was further down than it had appeared from the trail...

He was in a pickle - what could we do, but take some video? the background conversation is Grandpa offering some serious money to the little kids, if they would dare cross this log.

We settled on doing some dares on safer logs. (The kids are trying to cross without falling into the "lava")

We finally reached the lookout point and the view was gorgeous as we watched the rain come down in the valley

We spent some leisurely moments up there

And just when we began to head back down, it began to rain. And get dark. It was quite the trek back but the kids were troopers! I have almost no pictures of my niece Claire (the smallest and youngest in the group, 6 years) - but that's because she was at the head of the trail most of the time! 5.5 miles was no big deal for these little ones.

It already is a great memory.

We love when family comes to town.

Day Trippin'

2011-07-26T17:10:00.005-06:00

When we had three toddlers (at once), we used to drive. A lot. The kids liked driving and were well behaved. Regularly, we'd take Sunday drives and discover new places; old mining towns, new lakes and canyons. It was quiet and fun and a way to create some spontaneous adventure in our mostly home-bound lives.

After the moonlight bike ride Sam and I rode a couple weeks ago, we decided we wanted to see what that part of the island looked like in daylight. The half-way point of the bike ride stopped at the Fielding Garr ranch. At the time, we had no idea there was a barn just down the path (let alone a whole ranch) with food and drink. We just turned around and rode back to the finish. We were a little bummed when we reached the end of the ride, famished and too-late the wiser about where the goodies actually were.

It had been a while since we had taken "a drive" as a family and this seemed like a good fit. It was a fun trip. We saw buffalo, rope beds, old books, lots of birds, cool old tools and other artifacts - old bunk houses with cold storage rooms underneath and I'm sure I'm forgetting something... oh yes - Antelope.

[Sitting on the front porch of the oldest standing anglo-structure in Utah]

Ada's Motto:
Try...

Try...

... and Try again!

Yeehaw!

It went even better than we had planned.

10 Words...

2011-07-26T08:58:00.001-06:00

Fans whirring make me dreamy as
a long summer nap.

day twenty-eight: Flowers

2011-07-18T21:25:00.000-06:00

Ready Or Not, There He Goes...

2011-07-18T21:19:00.000-06:00

I have anticipated this day with some dread.
This day.
This ominous looking (yet gorgeous) day...

And why? Because I sent my first born away for an entire week to scout camp. It's hard for me. He won't be home. He won't be around. I'll worry. I just will. He did not ease my misgivings with all the talking about swimming and rifle merit badges and hiking in mountains with animals.

But I am not freaking out about it or anything...

Not much anyway. He's never been away this long (unless he's with family).

I told him I was tempted to keep him home. I wanted him safe and sound and here with me. (He's my sidekick, my super-helper-kid).

The trouble is, he's been packed since last week. This kid loves scouting. Loves adventure. Loves camping. He is going to have the time of his life this week. I know that. So how could I keep him home?

I remember taking my first stay away camp trip. I'll never forget my first long hike in the mountains, standing in the middle of a forest of aspens as the sun shone through the fluttering leaves. I was amazed. I was in love with it all. The smell of sun-baked dirt on the trail, the ever changing scope of the landscape. It was constant beauty and fresh air and sky. I learned how to tie boondoggles, make my first campfire (all by myself). The overwhelming night sky uninhibited by the city lights and exploding with stars -all while telling stories with friends.

I hope he doesn't miss me nearly as much as I will miss him.

Parenting is a stage of life's journey where the milestones come about every fifty feet. ~Robert Brault

Date Night

2011-07-17T23:10:00.001-06:00

We tried something new.

It was a gorgeous evening.

There were lots of bugs. We ate more than a few.

We rode bikes by moonlight. It was so lovely I forgot to change the settings on my camera.

day twenty-seven: Hands

2011-07-15T19:47:00.001-06:00

1.

2.

I say, "Fancy" - He says, "Nasty" and other Thursday Adventures

2011-07-14T21:22:00.005-06:00

1. I made and ate roasted figs and topped it with some Port Salut cheese. It was very good, if you don't mind the texture of figs. I was trying to take some gourmet photos, but Sam kept saying things like;

-"sick"
-"looks like a bowl of maggots"

Who cares what he thinks, I say! I can't help it, I loooooove figs. And the ones I bought were starting to shrivel a little, I wanted to save them somehow.

This is what he was talking about:

[pre-roasted: drizzle honey, olive oil, a little salt and pepper]


[It may look gross, but this was tasty. Probably should have roasted a little longer, but I was hungry. These would be yummy in a salad. Or even on top of icecream, minus the cheese of course.] Mmmmmm.... ;)

2. I visited my amazing aunt (who is my age) who just had twins a few months ago. They've only been home for about a month. She also has 5 other children at home (the oldest is 10). What I learned from my visit:

[Gabe and Zeke. So cute. There may have been some gentle cheek biting. I couldn't resist.]

I had some flashbacks and remembered how hard it was to have multiple babies at once (it's HARD). You just don't get to sleep, ever.
I miss it anyway. There is nothing as sweet or soothing as nuzzling a baby. Nothing.
She doesn't age, my aunt. And her hair hasn't changed with the pregnancy. Mine did, I lost my curls but hers is still thick and curly and gorgeous.
She pays attention to ALL of her kids. Even though those babies take up most every second, she takes time to check in, look at, talk with each one of her children. She is a devoted and sweet mother.
She has a plaque on her wall that made my heart stop and want to do better. It said something to this affect:

Mom didn't teach me how to be a mother,

She showed me.

3. I discovered (while trying to take a self-portrait) that Jackie gets his some of his goofy expressions from me... we look alike afterall!

goofy face. messy kitchen

Similar goofy face. Blurry photo.

What a discovery!

A simple day. A good day. I am grateful.

I Took 216 Bad Pictures...

2011-07-12T23:40:00.004-06:00

I've been fooling around a lot with settings. But it is all completely experimental, I have no idea what the settings will do half the time.

Ah well. I'm glad I took pictures. I need to start documenting a little better, the goings on in my life. Plus, it turned out to be quite a lovely impromptu vacation. One I want to remember.

Sam said on a Tuesday, "Let's go camping this weekend."

Every tent wishes they had an owner like Sam. Meticulously cared for, our tent.

We didn't fully commit until Friday afternoon. And even then we didn't have any kind of a plan. We decided, last minute, on going to Cherry Hill Campground. It's close and fun, there's a water park, mini golf and batting cages.

We had a blast. I really needed the time with just my little family.

We played Yahtzee:

What he's saying here -verbatim: "Hey Hun, can we be done with the picture-taking?"

We swam until we were bloodshot and shriveled:

We participated in breath-holding competitions:

We found some great places to eat (yummy comfort food) in Kaysville, Utah:

[photo taken from the internets. I was too busy snarfing my food to take any pictures]

I read this book, taking breaks to share my opinions with Sam regarding Ms. Chua's parenting methods:

[There will likely be a soapbox blog about this one]

At night we listened to heavy summer rain pounding onto our cozy tent. We listened to some serious thunder and were entertained (some terrified) by the continuous flashes of lightning. About an hour into it, Sam realized that he left his most favorite (and fancy) hat out on the picnic table in the storm. But when he went out to save it, he found that his hat can take serious storms. I was impressed. It still looked new!

We climbed trees:

And did robot dances:

We bought enough camping chairs to seat the whole family (not just the authoritarians duo):

Some of us did push ups as punishment for fighting:

And for some reason, Eddie kept doing this:

It was a most fun, unplanned two days.

I really loved it.

So did this guy:

day twenty-six: Black & White

2011-07-12T22:04:00.000-06:00

July 2011: Cherry Hill campground.

day twenty-five: Closeup

2011-07-07T21:10:00.002-06:00

Not just a closeup photo, but a closer look at some of my issues:

Who needs this many pairs of pants? Do you know I live in a relatively small house with 4 other people and 2 cats and a bird? My husbands also works in the home. Every square inch is like gold around here.

I am determined to make the most of my space! I am on a quest to UNLOAD as much as possible this summer.

Why, why, WHY do I have all these clothes?!

I have been holding on to so many clothes, thinking that I will eventually fit into them. Clinging to this ridiculous hope that someday, someday soon I will get there - that super lean weight. But, it just ain't gonna happen.

..Besides, even if I could - even if I do - who in their right mind needs to house this much denim? Really? I need a pair for every day of the month?

Eh, no.

Today marks the beginning of a most liberating summer! I will make the best of what I have (and what works) and the rest I will UNLOAD. If it doesn't fit, it's gone. If I don't love it, it's outta here.

This will be a process, because I have some cute things, dresses, books, etc. I don't want to let go of (even though I never, ever use them).

Today, I am starting with a tower of pants.

I am looking forward to:

being able to wear everything I own
not having so much clutter to shift around and clean
a happier, more purposeful living space
a functional garage (oh mama, I can't wait)
free time, free space, MORE time to play and explore a do fun projects with the kiddos.

This is long and silly I know, but I'm excited (note all the italics) for what lies ahead the rest of this summer.

If You Feel Like You've Got the Wind Knocked Out of You...

2011-07-05T10:10:00.000-06:00

maybe this will lift your spirits like it did mine:

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities
no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.

This day is all that is
good and fair.
It is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on yesterdays.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

day twenty-four: Shoes (or not. In my case)

2011-06-27T23:43:00.000-06:00

I really wanted to finish the 30 days in 30 days, but...it's not going to happen. I will be occupied this coming week and unable to finish it. This last week was kind of a bear, no time for blogging.

I will finish it up over July.

I will probably end up taking a picture of some of my shoes, but really, this is exactly how I like my feet to be:

I mean, what better way to dress up a foot than sun-warmed sand? Am I right?

day twenty-three: animal

2011-06-24T15:39:00.002-06:00

[our kitty Marmalade, interrupting my photo shoot of "something green"]

[turtle at the zoo. this little guy was hilarious. If I ignored him, he came right up to the glass and acted crazy, dancing around. Then, when I'd walk up to him, he just walked away and ignored me. We did this, like three times. He was so cute, it kind of made me want a turtle. Kind of. ]

day twenty-two: From a Distance

2011-06-23T20:10:00.001-06:00

This photo may not seem so spectacular, but it makes me laugh everytime I come across it:

Last year, as Sam and I struggled to put up the sail on our new boat, we were constantly being distracted by arguing twins.

After a short period of time, I'd had enough. I walked over to Jack, grabbed him by the elbow, then dragged him over to Ada (grabbing her by the elbow) and took them to the car for a time out.

Before we'd even made it to the car, they started up again. I thought to myself, "They need some alone time. They're just going to tear each other up in the car." So I split them up.

Far, far away from each other and far, far, far away from us. (But still in eye-shot. Barely.)

Here's a closer look:

They did not like this. Not one bit.

day twenty-one: Something Pink

2011-06-22T18:20:00.004-06:00

You may have noticed that I'm going out of order and a little behind.
Prudence requires it.

I will be camping all week next week. I will try to set things up so that the photos post on time, but I can't make any promises.

There won't be many more photos from my iphone during this challenge. It was stolen. (waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!)

ahem.

[One of the last photos taken with my iphone: Concert at Red Butte Gardens, June 2011]


[pink sky and rainbow at Bear Lake, Garden City Utah, September 2010 - It doesn't look so pink next to the other sky picture, though...]

[Rose from my garden, á la Gorgia O'Keeffe]

day twenty: Sunflare

2011-06-20T16:17:00.001-06:00

So...some of these are an accident. I think the point of this challenge is to do the daily requirement on purpose - not just dig up some old photos that sort of have what is being asked. But in most of the photos, I was aware of the light and trying new things with my camera.

Almost all photos were taken at Arch Canyon in November 2010 unless noted otherwise:


Heber Valley campground at sunset after rainstorm -August 2010. Not sure if this counts as sunflare...the camera didn't change much (I didn't want it too) - the sunset really glowed like this! I just wish I could have gotten more color.

Honestly, this "sun flare" was not entirely deliberate. But I was experimenting with settings on my camera to allow in more light and was aware that the sun would partially be in the shot.

Also, not a deliberate sun flare shot. But I love it because Ada is pointing to it.

By now, I noticed the sun flare and I wanted to see if I could get those streams of light in my photo, but was afraid of having too much sun... [Arch Canyon, November 2010]

I used the night time setting here and purposefully kept the sun in the shot. The whites of those plants were really lighting up like that in the natural light but other exposures just wouldn't show it off like this one (and only just barely).

I know nothing about good composition, but I do like this photo of Jack.

day nineteen: Faceless Self-Portrait

2011-06-19T01:00:00.000-06:00

day eighteen...

2011-06-18T21:40:00.002-06:00

SOMETHING ORANGE

day seventeen:

2011-06-18T09:49:00.001-06:00

" The development of technology will leave only one problem: the infirmity of human nature."

-Karl Kraus

[sigh].... So much for my minimalist ideals. I just have way too many things. I realized this (once again) while trying to decide what to take a picture of - what would represent technology in my life. "Technology" isn't a bad thing. Heck, I wouldn't be able to do this fun challenge, would I, if it weren't for computer and internet technology?

But I have way more stuff than I am able to adequately take care of, or use.

Thanks to this challenge, I see that my simple point and shoot has so many manual settings and options. My computer has photo editing capabilities that I barely know how to use... I really don't need a fancy camera just yet. I could learn quite a bit with what I've got.

So, yeah...

day sixteen: long exposure

2011-06-16T00:00:00.004-06:00

I figured it out (kind of)! I didn't think it would be possible. Thanks to a google search, I learned there is a setting and some tricks one can do with my camera to get a long exposure...

I turned off the lights in my kitchen. To make the designs, I used my iphone and a flashing bike light that I happened to purchase today. I am so glad I know how to do this now!

I only wish I'd have brought my camera to the concert I went to last night.

I am going to have some fun on the fourth of July!

day fifteen: silhouette

2011-06-15T08:39:00.011-06:00

Ahhh, the Silhouette. The black staple of photography. Just like that black top or pants or dress, black allows a person to take something imperfect and make it striking, smooth out the lines, and such... Or at least romanticize it, thus improving the object being photographed. For example:

Here is a photo of me post bike ride. Dirty, greasy, and just plain gross: (please do not enlarge this photo. You will just be sorry you did.)

Now, put the light directly behind me and all you see is a few hair whispies. Much, much improved self-portrait. (I did change the "effects" setting, but the concept is the same...)

...And this is kind of fun. When I put my sunglasses in front of the camera lens it affected the light so that you kind of see me, even though the light is behind me.

Yes. This was fun.

day fourteen: eyes

2011-06-14T08:38:00.002-06:00

I am having a difficult time keeping up! So my pictures are even more lackadaisacal then usual...

What I WANTED to take a picture of is my son Jack's eyes, when he wears this bold, blue shirt he has. It is something to see.

Maybe I'll get around to it...

day thirteen: Myself With 13 Things...

2011-06-13T18:51:00.002-06:00

13 items (give or take) left after cleaning up today's painting job...

Remember when I painted the bathroom? Well, I painted over it. It just wasn't working out. Back in February I wanted something a little daring, interesting, a contrast.

I got exactly what I wanted but in the end, I found what I really wanted was something clean and cute. I am happy with the change. It's like a stone/cream/light color. Basic, simple, lighter...

so that's my silly picture for the day.

day thirteen: Yourself with 13 things

2011-06-13T00:00:00.001-06:00

not sure what I'm going to do yet...I'll be back...

day twelve: sunset

2011-06-12T00:00:00.006-06:00

[view from the grocery store, taken with my iphone]

day eleven: something blue

2011-06-11T00:00:00.007-06:00

I decided to post a few pictures of some of my favorite blue things (but none of the sky, I've already posted plenty of those)...


A picture of some of my favorite stationery...june 2010??

Our hobie, september 2010


My party doll, which sits on the night stand. I don't know, I just think she's darling- june 2011

A picture of my most favorite twins in the whole world.

day ten: Childhood Memory

2011-06-10T00:00:00.011-06:00

"A true friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway."

-Christi Mary Warner

I had no idea how I was going to pull today's challenge off...until I was folding laundry a few days ago. And then I pulled it out of the dryer.

Today's photos is of a gift, given to me by my cousin Melinda, for my 15th or 16th birthday. It's a pillowcase.

When I opened it, Nanette (my aunt) laughed and said, "it's perfect!" "So true!" My cousin chuckled in agreement. She found a gift that had my name all over it.

Except,

I honestly didn't get it at first. Did they really think this described me? Really? I had no idea. Somehow this piece of fabric became a mirror that showed me an aspect of my personality I was too self-absorbed to notice before. As I considered the possibility, I realized;

Melinda was spot on.

And I'll keep this gift forever. Makes me laugh. I wish I could say it shut me up (because sometimes I really should) -- but who are we kidding?

***P.S. Eddie saw this post and said, "Hey! What's my pillowcase doing on there? I love that pillowcase."

Ha!

day nine:

2011-06-09T00:00:00.008-06:00

[La Jolla, April 2011]

[walking the beaches at Del Mar, April 2011]

[perfect sitting rock at the beach, Del Mar, April 2011]

day eight: A Bad Habit

2011-06-08T04:48:00.000-06:00

{I rarely make my bed. Maybe this could be my July, 30 Day Challenge... }

day seven: Fruit

2011-06-07T00:00:00.008-06:00

= one delicious smoothie!

day six: From a Low Angle

2011-06-06T08:24:00.001-06:00

[arch canyon, again. november 2010]

[great salt lake marina (again), june 2011]

[Vernal Temple, June 2010]

[Bear Lake, September 2010]

day five: From a High Angle

2011-06-05T00:00:00.028-06:00

day four: Something Green

2011-06-04T00:00:00.027-06:00

[Cool plant found in Arch Canyon, November 2011]

[In my yard, June 2011]

[House Plant gone bananas, June 2011]

day three:

2011-06-03T05:47:00.068-06:00

[Rendezvous Beach, Bear Lake Utah. Sept. 2010]

I didn't realize, until this challenge just how many pictures I take of the sky, and of the clouds, specifically. It's true. I am a fan of clouds.

[Hatch, Utah. At dusk, March 2010]

When I was a teenager, there was a little park just a few doors down from my house. I used to go there at sunset and lay upside down on the hill and just look and look at the clouds and the sky as they changed colors and shapes.

[Salt Lake Valley (looking from Ensign Peak) at sunset, April/May 2010]

Almost all photos (except the last one) were taken with a Canon Powershot 12.1 megapixel camera. I wish I could say more about settings and such...maybe as I go along I'll learn a bit more and be able to be more purposeful about what I'm doing.

[Bear Lake. Post sailing misadventure. September 2010]

[Rendezvous Beach, Bear Lake. September 2010]

[Sunrise in Garden City, Bear Lake Utah.]

[Great Salt Lake Marina. Afternoon, June 2011. Photo taken with my iphone]

day two:

2011-06-02T10:55:00.004-06:00

What I Wore Today

Ready, Set, Go!

2011-06-01T17:12:00.000-06:00

The, oh so simple, specs:

Photo taken with Photobooth, on my MacBook.
Natural light, no flash.
Used the "comic book" effects setting.
Simple annotation added using the editing options in Preview (on MacBook).

30 Day Challenge....(Wednesday's Whetting)

2011-06-01T10:08:00.000-06:00

My friend pointed this out to me and I thought it would be fun to try for the month of June (are you still in, Amanda?) My word for the year is "look". This challenge seems to fit my overall resolution for 2011, no?

I'm so busy these days, all good things. But I really don't want this summer to fly by in a blur like last year. I am hoping this helps me stop for a minute and look around- not rush around so much.

And because I have no photography skills or knowledge, I feel no pressure to produce anything amazing or "perfect". This is just for fun! Heck, I only have a point and shoot- I don't even know how I'm going to manage day 16 (but I will think of something).

Gift From Qatar

2011-05-30T23:34:00.000-06:00

I have a painting in my house. It came all the way from Qatar. It was given to me by a mother and father this week as a thank you gift for helping to carpool their kids home from school these last few months. They needed some help because Dad (who usually took the kids home from school) was going to Afghanistan for 6 months.

So that's what we've been doing. My kids have someone to chat with and joke with on the way home and it's been a lot of fun.

This week, Mother gave ME that painting, and gas money. To thank, ME? I accepted the gift, to be gracious, but it was very humbling. What sacrifice did I make?

Here, a man and his family make a real sacrifice. Part for 6 months. (and it's not the first time) - Time which they will never get back, but have chosen to sacrifice in behalf of me and everyone else in this country.

And then, to top it all off - they give me a beautiful painting. They say, "thank you" to me? Their house is one the way to my house. It was nothing. Really.

They are one amazing family. They are strong and good, kind people. I have so much respect for them and I'm grateful for their example, especially today. Grateful for all who have served and serve.

Highlights of today:

Flags on the lawn, up and down the street.
Eddie waking himself up to meet the boy scouts at 6:30 am to put those flags up in the neighborhood.
Birthday wishes.
Lunch with family.
Sushi.
Bowling with the kids.
Rain that looks like summer rain, with sunshine streaming through.
Watching a fun TV series with Sam (I rarely watch TV. It's been nice to just hang out).
School is OUT for the summer - WAHOO!

D.C. - October 2010

2011-05-24T11:12:00.001-06:00

With Eddie, my mom (Lynne) and dad (Tim)

This was an amazing trip, and made possible by my very generous parents. I loved the city, the museums and seeing it all with my family (especially Eddie).

He never complained. Not one time. We were on our feet all day long every single day.

What a wonderful experience. Eddie is already talking about going back.

Below are some of the many, many photos I took (of only a few places that we visited):

Eddie's first plane ride

I am a big fan of the public transportation here.

My sister and her family drove from West Virginia to meet us for the day. It was a blast.

Outside the Reagan Building.

Outside Reagan Bldg.

Inside Reagan Bldg. I wish I was a better photographer. I loved the architecture and wanted to constantly be taking photos...

Chumming with the D.C. folks at the American History Museum

Having fun while walking and exploring the city. This was some sort of Navy Memorial

The ceiling inside the Native American History Museum

Arlington. What a place, beautiful, somber, reverent, heavy. It left a big impression on both Eddie and me.

Walking along the Mirror Pool


It is difficult to capture how big this monument is because you aren't allowed to get very close.

Native American History Building. A gorgeous structure.

Flying toy airplanes along the National Mall

IMAX at the National Air and Space Museum

Not a great photo of the ceiling at the National Art Museum. I only had 30 minutes to spend here (shucks!), but I saw some lovely things and discovered some new favorite paintings.

Grandpa (Tim), Myself and Eddie walking from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial.

I loved the Lincoln Memorial.

GNO ---June 2010

2011-05-22T22:56:00.002-06:00

Every year, there is an event called, "Fathers and Sons" - it's a camping outing for the boys and their dads in the neighborhood.

And when the boys are away, the girls play. Ada gets to pick what we do. In the past, we have
*eaten at Noodles and Company (more than once)
*Shopped at Old Navy (she likes that place)
*Gone to a movie
*Made treats

Last year, we met up with my sister in law (aunt Laurel) and we ate at the Golden Corral. Laurel loves that place and Ada was curious to try it out. I wasn't too impressed, but Ada liked it. Laurel and Ada had a blast together, telling jokes and making each other laugh. Laurel showed Ada the ropes- where to get the ice cream and how yummy it is to sprinkle cheese on your corn- stuff like that. I mostly watched. They were cute together. I wish I had thought to bring my camera.

Later, Ada and I rented a movie and had a spa night at home. A foot soak, painted fingers and toes.

We even made a homemade facial mask, with all sorts of crazy ingredients from the fridge (yogurt, oatmeal, strawberries, avocado, maybe lemon and I can't remember what else) - we kind of made it up as we went along.

It looked strange, but it smelled good and didn't seem to do any damage.

I think the strawberries stained our complexion a little, we had rosier cheeks afterward.

She's fun and sweet and I love her so! I can't wait to do it again this year.

Desert Series, Part One (I really do love the trees)

2011-05-22T06:30:00.005-06:00

::Arches Canyon Trip 11/10::

Trees are your best antiques. ~Alexander Smith

Us sing and dance, make faces and give flower bouquets, trying to be loved. You ever notice that trees do everything to git attention we do, except walk?

~Alice Walker

Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower

~Albert Camus

Bread and butter, devoid of charm in the drawing-room, is ambrosia eating under a tree. ~Elizabeth Russell

Alone with myself
The trees bend to caress me
The shade hugs my heart.
~Candy Polgar

If you would know strength and patience, welcome the company of trees.

~Hal Borland

The tree is more than first a seed, then a stem, then a living trunk, and then dead timber. The tree is a slow, enduring force straining to win the sky.

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Can't Get Enough

2011-05-21T06:30:00.007-06:00

BASEBALL.

Spring 2010: Jack and Ed get to be on the same team. They had a blast (when they weren't fighting)...

* I love watching my boys play. I anticipated it would be a chore, but it's not. It is truly fun for me.
* I wish I had gotten a picture of Jack up to bat.

Jack wanted to sign up, but there weren't enough 9 year old kids to make up a team. So, Eddie's coach picked him up. He looked tiny compared to the 11 and 12 year old players.

[Eddie at bat]


[Jack and the coach, getting ready to warm up]

Homerun Derby July 4, 2010:
* I love this tradition
* It is always HOT
* I swear every year that I'm going to go to the batting cages so that the NEXT year I'll be able to knock one out of the park...but I never do (go to the batting cages).

(All pictures taken from Cristie's blog...)

My favorite action shot of the day; Sam and Lizzie

Baseball 2011: We almost missed the boat this year. I completely missed the registration dates and teams filled up fast. It looked like the boys wouldn't be playing. Grandpa Jerry is an umpire for some youth leagues (older than Eddie's) and was able to find a team in his age group that lost a player at the last minute. They could squeeze Eddie in, hooray! It's nowhere near our neighborhood, but as I watch him play, improve and love every minute of it, I know it's worth the commute (and time and gas money).

Sam (in the purple) is in heaven. He loves going to these games. Eddie is number 8, behind him.

The shadows cover his face, but he sure is cute in his uniform

Eddie really didn't want me to put this picture up. Can you see why?

*Jack? He was a little bummed out, but also very much relieved. So it was okay.
* Feels more like a winter sport this year. I have yet to go to a game and not wear a coat.
*We have had as many or more games and practices canceled, than played--due to the endless precipitation.
* Eddie ended up again with great coaches. He has really been lucky.
* They are a good team and nice boys.

Looking back, #2

2011-05-20T06:30:00.002-06:00

Also Spring 2010:

Temple trip with the Young Women. There were only four Young Women that night, but the small group made for a lovely, quiet outing. They were happy to explore and think and quietly focus on their surroundings.

Scotti, Shrijana and Laxmi: Pretty. Nice. Funny. Smart. So Good.

We took a tour of the Conference Center in downtown Salt Lake City. It is filled with amazing artwork and the roof top is landscaped so beautifully - using mostly (if not all) plants native to the state of Utah.

Laxmi fell in love with the flowers, especially the Columbine (below). They're one of my favorites, too.

They were delightful company. It was a gorgeous evening.

Sonia (one of the other leaders), McKenzee (first trip inside the temple) and Myself.

Since My Birthday is Fast Approaching...

2011-05-19T12:01:00.004-06:00

I think I will spend the next 10 days or so recapping and posting some pictures from this last year. Not necessarily in chronological order. I wasn't blogging much last year, and so I like the idea of taking a few minutes each day to recall some memories through pictures. It was a good year, I think.


May 2010 [???] - - BYU Women's Conference with Valerie (left), Katie (right) and Cristie (not pictured, unfortunately). All women I ardently admire and enjoy being with. It was a fun day. Fun girls, a most delicious brownie and lectures that left me refreshed and wanting to be just a little better.