Now That May '09 is Coming to a Close...

I thought maybe I'd post a few photos of April's happenings:

Photo 1

We celebrated our 12th anniversary.
TWELLLLLVE YEARS.

This picture is misleading, we really are very happy.

Photo 2

We also celebrated Sam's birthday.
He's 12 years older than the year we got married.

Photo 3

Eddie started baseball.

He is so adorable.
And very intense (I wonder wear he gets it).

Photo 4Jack and Ada celebrated their 8th birthday.
Jack is trying the snuff out method (not pictured is me hollering at him and telling him to just blow the dang candles out before the whole cake is covered in wax. What can I say, I need to work on my being-easy-and-fun skills.)

Photo 5







Here's a closeup of the stuff I made for my Blog Giveaway.

What's that? No picture? Ohhhhhh yeah, that's right. I haven't finished them yet (but I'm working on them now, you'll get them soon*).


*Please interpret this word VERY loosely.

For Most of My Younger Years

Memorial Day has been the day of my birthday party. It falls close to my birthday and since it was a holiday (meaning no school) we took advantage of the day and made a birthday party out of it.

Naturally, the older I get, the more I understand some things. Like what this day is all about. And I really just learned it back in November.

I saw this quote today:

"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost." ~Arthur Ashe


Memorial Day.
So many lives lost and without fanfare or drama (from our safe, comfortable perspective anyway). And all without much recognition. I am amazed at those who have been and are dedicated to sacrificing everything in order to serve me and my country.

Once, an older gentleman from my neighborhood stood up to say something in church. He broke down as he spoke of his gratitude for the simple acknowledgement and thanks that a younger woman had given him during Sunday School earlier. He was a veteran, and it was close to veterans day.

I will never forget his face. He stood as he spoke- his body bent a little. Strong but worn. He was full of immense gratitude and relief. His service had not been forgotten, he said. Nor those who gave their lives.

A simple thank you from a neighbor meant everything to him. And it had a big impact on me.

I am so thankful. I love having a four day weekend, barbecues, and family time. I love this time of year. But I just needed to jot something down, so I don't forget what this day is really about.

And I'm also going to buy a flag.

Extension:

I figured out what I'm going to do to continue Lent.

I'm going to continue...Lent. No more sweets until May 8th (so far).

I didn't mention this before, but my cousin also has gestational diabetes and loves treats as much as I do, but can't have any. So, it feels right for me to keep going - well, minus the 4 day hiatus ;).


P.S. I think this bunny is adorable. Melinda got this for her baby boy. It sleeps on her bed at night now, and will stay with baby in the hospital, after he's born.

ReLENT For Baby Boy: Will You Join Me?

I Keep getting the question;

"SO HOW'S IT GOING NOW THAT LENT IS OVER?"

:: Tatertot enjoying Easter provisions ::

I've noticed many of you asking with a half-grin and raised eyebrows. I know what you're really trying get at. You want to know if I've since binged myself into a mind fuzzing stupor. Well, yes I have. Okay? And I was at peace with my almost constant sugar-stuffing until I tried to go to a cycle class yesterday.

QUESTION:
What do you get when you combine months of NO exercise with a 3 day diet of Chocolate eggs and Girl Scout cookies?

ANSWER:
A soft-fleshy-sweaty-purple-faced lady, hovered over her bike, dizzy and shamelessly moaning while trying as hard as she can to not throw up in a hot (very hot) small, enclosed room nauseously crammed with people. Even during the stretch at the end I just sat on the moist, gritty floor, hunched over.

But I don't embarrass that easily, so it's all good.
And I learned from it. I will never exercise again. :)

QUESTION: Just now, when you read the word 'question' - did Dwight's voice come into your head?

But I digress (it's my nature, please forgive.)

.~***~.

MY POINT IN THIS POST IS THAT I DID IT. I REALLY DID IT! 45 DAYS WITHOUT TREATS OR DESSERTS. IF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE TREATS YOU MIGHT WONDER HOW IT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE. I WILL SHARE MY SECRET:

HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL AT LENT

A gal we'll call, HelloKitty (a Lent pro), helped me with this: Basically, you need to find someone to pray for. Whatever you give up, do it for that person. Every time you are tempted to give in, you can use that opportunity to pray/help/call/etc. the person for whom you are fasting or "Lenting". Doing Lent this way gives greater meaning a purpose to your chosen method of self-denial for the 40 day period. And one feels more compelled to stick with it, doing it this way.

Get it?

I chose my cousin Melinda.

:: Expecting Mother by Razia Gershon, brass (click) ::

Melinda is my bosom cousin. We are 6 months apart in age. We practically have the same name for heaven sakes. We've always lived a good 30 miles apart but growing up, we managed to spend whole summers together, taking the city bus if we had to. She's been a really, really good friend. She's also expecting a baby boy in a few weeks. And Baby has a tumor.

She found out through ultrasound that her baby possibly has a neuroblastoma. Her baby, has a tumor. And it's a big one (if it is a neuroblastoma, they are considering it a stage 3).

Can you imagine having to deal with something like this? Melinda is such an amazing example of keeping great perspective and patience in such a trying time. Nobody is quite sure how to treat the situation. So far, They (doctors and other medical professionals) have been watching the baby carefully, monitoring his growth as well as the growth of the tumor.

I did Lent for her, which has ended. But it's not over for Melinda. She's going to be induced May 7th (39 weeks gestation, thankfully!). The baby will be taken straight to Primary Children's Medical Center, and then they'll try to figure out the best course of action.

I'M PUTTING THIS ON MY BLOG BECAUSE:

• I believe in prayer.

• I believe in miracles.

• I believe in the power of collective consciousness reaching out for good.

• Someone out there may know something about this situation, or may know someone who knows someone. I think the hardest part of all this (for Melinda) is feeling like everyone is in the dark about what to do. No one she's met (yet) has really seen this before.

SO WILL YOU JOIN ME IN "CONTINUING LENT" (sort of)?

::"Hold My Heart" photo by Helga. Check out her Flickr page, here::

Anything that you feel will help. Prayer, fasting, karma-whooshing (okay, I made that term up, but you know what I mean, right?), a candle-light vigil, the burning of smudge sticks, some first-hand knowledge on unusually large neuroblastomas in unborn babies...

As soon as I get off this dang computer, I'm going to find something that will remind me to think of her EVERY day. And not forget. So I will remember to pray, or call, or show up and babysit her darling little girl, SOMETHING...

I'll let you know what I come up with. Ideas are welcome. :)

[.~***~.]

Look the Sun in the Face...and Smile.

That's what I'm going to do. Just as soon as it comes out. Because sometimes, sometimes- even in these trying times- things work out. Here's to hoping!

(And here's to a weekend of GC(click). I've been looking forward to this weekend.)

SOMETIMES

Sometimes things don't go, after all,
from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war;
elect an honest man; decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go
amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: MAY IT HAPPEN FOR YOU.

~Sheenagh Pugh (emphasis/caps added by moi.)

That is my sincere wish for you today.

P.S. MUSCADEL: noun; a muscat grape esp. as grown for drying to make raisins (Just in case you didn't know. I didn't).

To Do: Buy Hot Pink Balloons.

Last week I was going through a big pile of papers and I found a funeral service leaflet for HserNer Moo. I refolded it inside out revealing her sweet smiling picture, and then I hung it on my fridge. I thought to myself that I would make sure and do something special to remember her. Later that week, at a neighborhood book club, her name came up again. Then, a few days ago I saw her father, riding his bike to work and I remembered once again, my desire to do something.

But today? On the anniversary of her passing? Today I forgot. Today, I woke up in a hurry. I was working and had to get the kids off to school early. Sam was preparing for a business trip and we were all bustling about. I totally forgot.

I came home and saw that my friend Ginger had posted a video on her blog in memoriam. (She managed to gather photos and put a beautiful video together in time for Hser Ner Moo's funeral last year. You can view it here).

Thank heavens for always-thoughtful-gals like Ginger. I really would have been sad if I'd forgotten today.

I've been asking myself the last several days why I feel like I need to do something. Because honestly, I didn't really know her. I remembered her. Her mom and dad used to stand on my front lawn while our children played together. But that was only a few times, really. And they didn't know English and I didn't know how to speak Karen. We just kind of stood there, watching our children play, smiling back and forth.

When she died last year, I bought a yellow candle. I decided to keep it burning for a while to help me remember some of the things I learned during the experience:

1. My days are numbered. They are. So are yours.
2. Family is everything. Relationships are everything. Being a neighbor, is everything.
3. No amount of evil or tragedy or devastation can snuff out the overwhelming light of faith, hope and charity.
4. I determined to wrap my heart around those three virtues and cling to them always.

That's what I did last year. I don't want to relive the tragedy and sadness, that's not what this is about. I just want to remember what I learned during that time. And remember my resolution about marking the beauty? Life is precious. I'm determined to recommit myself to living it better.

I think I will start a new yearly tradition, nienie style. I'll burn my candle, too. And say a prayer for Cartoon and Pearli Wah (dad and mom) and their boys. Today is a sad, sad day for them.


As for tonight? I surprised my kids by taking them to Olive Garden (they love that place). I spent the evening talking with them and watching their sweet faces a little more intently than usual. As they laughed uncontrollably in the car on our way home, I determined to be more thankful for a noisy house. One day I'll have all the peace and quiet I thought I ever wanted...and I think I might actually miss the racket.


Sweet dreams.

Mouse in the Pudding Sauce...

I was admiring my wedding ring while driving today (I know, not so smart).

Here was my crazy, day-dreaming thought process...

I was thinking that if Sam died, I don't think I'd ever marry again. Because I wouldn't be able to let go of my ring. Because the day I got that ring was the day all my fondest dreams started to become a reality. (Awwww...)

Thinking about my life and family, my eyes welled with pathetic tears of love, and as I sealed in my heart a fervor of complete fidelity towards Sam whether living or dead, I looked up to the heavens ---and then I SLAMMED on my brakes because I noticed that the light had changed and I was about to be the one doing the widow-making.

***
I also nearly crashed my car the day after I became engaged, gazing at my new token of impending nuptials. I was never much of a jewelry wearer in my younger days and so having a sparkly diamond on my hand was quite the distraction.

Why am I writing about this? Who knows.

I just wanted to write something down. I keep intending to write about Lent. (Yes, I'm still doing it). But it's hard for me. I don't know. I'm either really stuck spiritually or on the verge of some serendipitous, life-changing epiphany. I honestly can't tell which it is yet.

One thing is for sure - I've got to work on keeping my head out of the clouds and watch the road.

And if my title makes any sense at all to you, then we are kindred spirits and I ask you with all the maternal concern I can muster; Please keep your eyes on the road and your mind to the task.

:)

Daydream Wallpaper

By Julia Rothman (click)

Love it. Love the clouds especially...


And how about in these yummy colors?
(you'll definitely want to click to enlarge this one.)

Did I mention that I love it?

You can find more of her wallpaper/illustrations/prints etc. HERE

Because I'm a fair weather cyclist...

(and the weather is fair, isn't it?)

And because I love clever people...
Enjoy!







Did you notice? (tell the truth).

Hack

I thought one payoff of not eating sweets would be a stronger immune system.

Nope. I am so, so, so sick.

Do you know I had to sing at church (a solo) yesterday? My voice sounds like a frog who's n's sound like d's.

All I could hope for was to not start going into a coughing fit in the middle of the song. And I didn't, thankfully. Despite the lack of barking, and judging by the quizzical looks on some of the people's faces, my voice was definitely not in top form.

I recommend that experience to everybody.

I am waiting to get better. It feels like it's taking forever. And all I want right now are ice cream shakes and Slurpees. Something ice cold, smooth and sweet on my throat.

Last night I had the craziest Nyquil induced dreams...multiple dreams, because I kept waking up.

Just a few that I can remember:

• I ate a handful of Reeses Pieces and then remembered I was doing Lent, and I hurriedly shoved another handful in my mouth and then I felt so guilty and disappointed in myself.

• Sam cleaned out the nasty litter box. I watched him and was so grateful. It was so real. Imagine my disappointment when I went downstairs the next morning.
  

• I was falling out of the sky, miles above the ground. I don't remember jumping out of a plane or anything I just found myself falling and trying not to panic. I had two round pack things attached to a lanyard and I was trying to pull the packs toward me so I could unzip them and see if there was some kind of parachute inside. But the packs weren't strapped to me, so they kept slipping. And the scenery below began to expand into great detail at a fast rate. I finally got one of the packs half-way zipped open (I had to be careful to not let it slip out of my hands). I managed to take some of the material out of the pack and gather the edges to create a make-shift mini parachute, which slowed me down just a little and then I began to plan on how I was going to land (because I was dead meat). I figured if I curl up into a tight ball then maybe I'll make a cool divot in the ground like a meteor. I remember regretting not realizing I was going to die in the first place and wished I had just enjoyed an amazing fall, instead of spending the whole time fiddling with the packs. I woke up on impact.

• We were with Sam's family after church. Sam's brother's girlfriend said to me, "I think it's disgusting that you would hang around here when you're sick like that. Don't you have any consideration for other people? Rude."

Those are the dreams I can remember.

It's time for my Nyquil.