melissa's blog

WEDNESDAY'S WHETTING ===-===-===-===-===-===

last week

I was out of town so I didn't post, but I did give myself a little challenge...I challenged myself to look people directly in the eyes when I am speaking to them. This is difficult for me. I have no problems focusing when the other person is speaking, but for some reason when I'm talking to some body, my eyes are shifting all over the place- except toward the person to whom I am speaking. Why? Who knows. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, so maybe I'm afraid to reveal too much. Or afraid of rejection---or just easily distracted. It doesn't really matter. The challenge, wasn't to delve into my psyche and uproot my sub-consciousness in order to understand this eye-shifting pathology, so I'm not really going to go there. But I can imagine it must be annoying to speak with someone who is always looking around you. So I worked on it a little. It was hard, as soon as I looked ino a persons eyes, my mind instantly went blank. I stuttered and spoke.slower.(Which isn't so bad.) I also forgot quite a bit, and reverted to my old ways. I will definitely return to this challenge.

this week

So yesterday's post was kind of a dumb rant. But that's okay, because now I have my challenge for today. I've already begun. Basically, I'm going to crank through the list I posted yesterday and see if I can get it all done by next Wednesday (including Christmas???). Like I said yesterday; with me, moderation is purely an abstract idea.

I will check in daily to post my progress.

Better get back to work.
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