Resolve...

This time of year, for me, is the ultimate new beginning. January 1, is really just an arbitrary date, I know. And really every day above ground is a new beginning, I know. But the New Year is a fresh start. A clean slate. And since this perception is not necessarily a bad thing, I don't fight it.

I get excited to make goals. This mental state surges my energy levels and so, for now, I'm lighter on my feet. I'm completely optimistic of my possibilities. Time seems to be on my side.

It's almost like recapturing youth. Except it's not.

Here it is 11pm and while I'm beat, I'm having a hard time settling down. Now, I haven't actually written down any resolutions yet because I have, historically, had a few hangups with goal making;

1. In order to accomplish all that I would really like to accomplish this year (perfection), I would have to give up sleep and somehow add another 7 hours to my day.

2. Once I write it down (and pack them tightly into a now inflexible, impossible calendar), I go nuts with this crazy schedule of accomplishments. This lasts for about a week or so and then I crash, waking up somewhere in the middle of March worse off than when I started.

3. I have difficulty picking only one or two goals, when so many seem equally important and urgent. I have journal entries with 30+ goals. Yeah, whatever.


So that's it. Last year I boycotted Resolutions. I was feeling very discouraged and apathetic about trying anymore (at least in the way I usually do). It ended up being a nice year. I lost 10 pounds, quit caffeine, learned a few songs on the guitar, read a few books with my kids, and even started a journal/blog (all of which are previous resolutions) -

I don't know, maybe it's the deadlines that get me. Maybe I should just go to bed.