WWW...the extra 'w' is because this entry is wordy (once again)

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Last Week's Challenge Update:

Well, it went pretty well. No, very well. I'm cured!!! (just kidding). But I think I'm finally figuring this whole "body image" thing out... Some thoughts that occurred to me during the week.

1. The first day. I was walking barefoot along the beach, listening to the water, being re-introduced to the salty, heavy sea breeze - I felt a strong sense of nostalgia and gratitude. I've walked those beaches as a young newlywed, as a pregnant mom, a new mom, a swollen, rash-covered narcissist...I realized that place has history for me. I was reminded of the beautiful life that I've had. And in all those memories, even the one where I broke out into hives because of my anxietous vanity, or the one year when I was big and pregnant trying to body surf, only to come out of the water unknowingly bearing my maternal breast for all the beach to see-- what I cherish is those beautiful memories, even when I didn't feel so cute at the time. They are a part of me.

2. Another day: I was picking up rocks and shells. I picked them because of how they looked, but once I got them into my hands, they all looked like regular rocks. They looked more plain because now they were out of context. They looked exceptional, beautiful, colorful, shiny, and bold when laying in the sand, being washed and polished by the waves. If that's not a metaphor for ya? I, too, feel more beautiful when I'm in beautiful places, with people I love. To surround yourself with beauty, is to bring out your brightest, boldest most beautiful features.

3. Losing my shorts: I had shorts to swim in and I wore these granny underpants underneath. Which worked fine until I started body surfing. I was having so much fun! I was finally starting to get the timing down, but the waves would pull my shorts off. I would grab for my shorts, and then get all scraped up on the rocks at the end of the ride. So, I took my shorts off, shoved them into my top and waited for the next wave. It was a great ride, except this time I started losing my underpants...I managed to snag them just below the knee (before it was everlastingly too late), but once I pulled them up into place I realized my shorts were gone!

You may not think this is a big deal (that's because it isn't), but honestly, I have not shown my fanny, or upper thigh portion to the sunshine in almost 20 years. I was wearing the Umbro's/swimsuit combo WAY before board shorts became mainstream. Not to mention the fact that I was wearing old underwear (granny style with panels and everything) that may or may not have holes in them.

Oh, and I didn't have a towel on the beach I could quickly run to and hide in. So I was stuck. My niece and sisinlaw did a once over for me in the water to make sure I didn't have any revealing holes, and I worked up the guts to walk out of the water and all the way to my camp site. My goal was to not act stupid about it. (But I did kind of did act stupid about it). Still, it was a good experience for me. The truth is, not ONE person gave more than a second's thought (if that) about my white fanny. Nobody cares. Seriously. A big ToDo about nothing. That's what I've been doing all these years. What precious time has been wasted in such self-absorbed thinking.


4. Before I left: I read this article about our body image and our genes. I have features I have thoroughly berated in the past, that are direct features from even my most immediate ancestors. This article pointed out that perhaps we should be more appreciative of those very traits. After all, if they've stood the test of generations, it's because they are dominant genes, and/or they work, right?

As many times as I've complained about my nose, I wouldn't change it. It's my grandpa's nose. And his dad's too. And my grandfather is not only handsome, he is one amazing, AMAZING man. I don't mind having a daily reminder of where I come from, and the examples that have been laid before me. I have short legs like both my grandmothers. They were/are attractive, have/had hustle and are a couple of the hardest working ladies I've ever known. so when I attempt (and fail) the look of the skinny jean, at least I know these limbs have proven to be able to do great things --minus the knees: thanks dad ;)-- And by golly, I'll wear my skinny jeans anyway, thankyouverymuch.

It was a good week. And a giant gold star for you if you actually read this whole thing.

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THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:

I don't know, maybe it was because C referred to me as a poet... but I feel inspired to work on my creative writing. Actually I don't feel inspired right this second, which is part of the reason for this challenge, WHICH IS;

Each day I will submit a poem/song that I have written... for all the world (okay, all 10 of you) to see.

This is kind of scary for me, because:
1. I'm not actually a poet... I lack the knack for rhyming, and I tend to make up words (note the word 'anxietous' above).
2. I have written less poems than there are days in the week, and I've already posted most of them...
3. I'm risking looking really dumb, or unintentionally revealing more of myself than I would like.

K- here I go!

#1

SLIP

Explanations,
Poses,
Constructed Themes,
The direction you are now facing.
Meaningless.

You've already given it away.

Without even a word.

One look
And it's gone from you.

It only feels taken because you
Weren't paying attention when

You revealed yourself
To me.

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