Following, is an example of a real man, (and a good one at that).
aRealman:"Thanks for the spaghetti Hun. That was actually pretty good."
Marital Bliss Lesson #1:
THIS, is a compliment. Take it. Imprint on your mind only the words, 'thanks', 'Hun', and 'good'.aRealman: "There was something rubbery and seedy in the sauce though. Probably from our garden?"
Marital Bliss Lesson #2:
Assume the best of intentions. Just do. Because the LAST thing the poor guy wants is to tick you off. But, should you be offended -Marital Bliss Lesson #3:
Communicate your feelings in a (ahem) constructive way.devotedWife: "Oh, nice. NICE!"
aRealman: "What?" "What? Didn't you use stuff from your garden?"
devotedWife: "oh, that was ACTUALLY pretty good? Actually. Pretty good? Amazing that, FOR ONCE, you have something good..."
aRealman: "I didn't mean..."
devotedWife: "And what? Like I'm growing crap-on-a-vine out there? (okay, I didn't actually say that. I thought of it just now and thought it was funny).
WHAT I DID DO, was threaten to make his charming antics public ---via Blog.
To which he replied with a snicker. A mocking snicker!
Marital Bliss.
No vampires with diamond-sparkly skin and every word silvery and perfectly timed.
Which is good for my gag reflex.
Other bonuses: My man is handsome AND warm blooded.
The End.
P.S. My garden really isn't producing very well. He's right about that.
7 comments:
All I have to say is...HA! You guys rock.
At first I thought you'd read my diary! I think we've had that exact conversation! Good to know I've got a real man too! :)
What kind of fertilizer are you using in your garden... it sounds interesting. :o)
Melissa,
Ha ha ha ... Ok, i have had similar thoughts during similar real life marital bliss conversations! You do have to realize that Edward is totally fictitious, just like Mr. Darcy is totally ficticious. But I can hope that when our hubbies are resurrected, that they'll be more Edward and Mr. Darcy like. Whatcha think? (Beehler)
OK...I am laughing so hard I have tears. That conversation is awesome! I can totally hear your voice and then his! I love it...thanks for sharing!
i'll take the real deal any day or night of the week! something about someone sniffing around my jaw while i hold statue still gives me the creeps. =0
Edward kinda makes me want to puke. It was cute at first but let's me honest, you can't even make up a guy that great. I'll take Jacob any day. Or for that matter Matt! He is pretty great too.
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