To Do: Buy Hot Pink Balloons.

Last week I was going through a big pile of papers and I found a funeral service leaflet for HserNer Moo. I refolded it inside out revealing her sweet smiling picture, and then I hung it on my fridge. I thought to myself that I would make sure and do something special to remember her. Later that week, at a neighborhood book club, her name came up again. Then, a few days ago I saw her father, riding his bike to work and I remembered once again, my desire to do something.

But today? On the anniversary of her passing? Today I forgot. Today, I woke up in a hurry. I was working and had to get the kids off to school early. Sam was preparing for a business trip and we were all bustling about. I totally forgot.

I came home and saw that my friend Ginger had posted a video on her blog in memoriam. (She managed to gather photos and put a beautiful video together in time for Hser Ner Moo's funeral last year. You can view it here).

Thank heavens for always-thoughtful-gals like Ginger. I really would have been sad if I'd forgotten today.

I've been asking myself the last several days why I feel like I need to do something. Because honestly, I didn't really know her. I remembered her. Her mom and dad used to stand on my front lawn while our children played together. But that was only a few times, really. And they didn't know English and I didn't know how to speak Karen. We just kind of stood there, watching our children play, smiling back and forth.

When she died last year, I bought a yellow candle. I decided to keep it burning for a while to help me remember some of the things I learned during the experience:

1. My days are numbered. They are. So are yours.
2. Family is everything. Relationships are everything. Being a neighbor, is everything.
3. No amount of evil or tragedy or devastation can snuff out the overwhelming light of faith, hope and charity.
4. I determined to wrap my heart around those three virtues and cling to them always.

That's what I did last year. I don't want to relive the tragedy and sadness, that's not what this is about. I just want to remember what I learned during that time. And remember my resolution about marking the beauty? Life is precious. I'm determined to recommit myself to living it better.

I think I will start a new yearly tradition, nienie style. I'll burn my candle, too. And say a prayer for Cartoon and Pearli Wah (dad and mom) and their boys. Today is a sad, sad day for them.


As for tonight? I surprised my kids by taking them to Olive Garden (they love that place). I spent the evening talking with them and watching their sweet faces a little more intently than usual. As they laughed uncontrollably in the car on our way home, I determined to be more thankful for a noisy house. One day I'll have all the peace and quiet I thought I ever wanted...and I think I might actually miss the racket.


Sweet dreams.