When you don't have it together,
You can still have Christmas.
Christmas Eve morning I stood in my messy, messy (I mean, messy) kitchen. Dishes overflowed the sink and onto the sticky crumb-filled counter tops. Garbage and neighborhood holiday gift carnage strewn everywhere. Heaps of laundry sat in piles downstairs. We were out of towels and pants and I had not one clean washcloth with which to wipe my dirty counter tops. I was overwhelmed by the hustle of the season. And my house seemed to be past the point of restoring order. I couldn't keep up.
As I stood in the kitchen, looking at the fruits of my disorganized and distracted (let's just say it) lazy nature - I had a decision to make. Will I make toffee before Christmas? I really tried to prepare for Christmas, but I only got half of my Christmas cards out and I just couldn't get my act together when it came to our yearly tradition of toffee and braetzlis.
Dishes first. I need to at least see the counter tops before making a decision.
I strapped my ipod to my arm and turned on the hot water. I began singing loudly with the music (not Christmas music, I wasn't in the mood) only to press pause periodically when my kids wanted to speak with me.
My family is often plagued by the sound of me singing along with my ipod. Being able to hear oneself is an important aspect of singing well. Also, it's nice to have an accompaniment. As the one wearing the ear buds, I am oblivious to the negative effects that occur when these two elements are removed. My family is generally very patient and long suffering in regards to my loud habit. On this morning however, when I paused to speak to one of the kids, I noticed that Sam speedily took advantage of the moment and plugged in some Christmas music before I could start up again. I took the subtle hint and turned off my ipod.
The kitchen counters began to emerge. Once the pots were clean I felt like I could make some candy.
And that fast it felt like Christmas. Even though my house was a disaster, Even though I knew I wouldn't have time to deliver this toffee before Christmas. I was working in the kitchen and my family was all around and I felt happy.
Eddie and Jack were at the table, drawing. Ada had spent the last few days working on a story. It's about a girl named Ann who will prove to her father that she can be a warrior, even though she is a girl. I stirred the boiling candy and Ada stood beside me reading about Ann bravely facing the black knight and cleverly getting past the moles and into the thick forest using her clever sense of humor. Ada's big eyes expressed focused vibrancy as she used different voices for each character, or looked up at me to make sure I got the funny parts. Occasionally, she would pause to explain the specific details that will go into the movie once her story is bought. Every few minutes, she would be interrupted by one of her brothers who came in to show me their new creations of fierce, scaly eyes for the dragons they were drawing. Dragons that blew ice crystals instead of fire.
And in the background I heard sweet sounds of Hallelujah and praise for the One who makes up the difference. It was at this moment when I realized, It is a joyous Noël, because I fall short.
Hallelujah!
He is born.
I am warm in my messy house.
I am filled with His love and compassion as I look upon my own.
I am supported by a dear friend and companion who refuses to give up on me.
I am determined to be better.
Christmas Magic.
4 comments:
This is beautiful Melissa. Absolutely beautiful. He does make up the difference. And in that there is great rejoicing, isn't there? I love how you captured it so well. Warm in your messy house. Daughter reading to you, wanting your approval. The dragons breathing ice crystals. It's a picture of perfection. Bless you for seeing it. I think you're beyond amazing!
That's beautiful, thank you for sharing Melissa. This really hit hard for me as my house feels like it's been in choas for the past couple of months. Thanks!
You are so amazing.
Christmas magic is alive and well. It is the only holiday that I think lives up to it's hype, and I believe that is beacause of the traditions, the love and the saviour. Well said melissa.
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