Consecration: A Resolution (and a Daily Struggle)

Morning comes. I take my secret and rise from my bed, only to fall again onto my knees.
At the alter now, with dust in my eyes and groggy yearnings to start again.  A deep breath sets aglow the tiny embers of precious desire (without blemish).

I am hoping to ignite fire within my heart.  Turn desire into purifying flames.  Here an offering is given -
Sleep
Pride
My very will?

This is my secret: I am wishing He stops me (like Abraham) just before I slaughter that which I've put my whole self into.

But I'll never know if He stops me until I lay it down.  Lay all of it, down.  Give it up.  Let it burn to ash and smoke.  What is mine will not be mine.  All I understand (now) is what I will lose.

Today (like every day) I wonder if I have the courage.  Or faith.  (Is there a difference?)