A Spiritual Quest

{Day 10}

a holy patriarch uttered my name
and it was written on
2 full pages, single spaced, small font
-  of the mortal promises i made

so
many
promises


so typical of me
i can see it
eager, willing
wanting to do so much
having heroic intentions
for this life, this experience
not having a clue
what i'm getting myself into

and then, as it so often has been
when put to the test
barely, just barely average
having to scramble at the end
to be good enough
to "pass the exam"

 but

a death bed repentance
is not good enough
is not what i promised

in that holy and sweet prayer
reminded
i said 
i would

in those days before days
and now it is days upon days
they slip through me like hand-cupped water

running faster will not help
wisdom is what i need
what i should have asked for
before i left on my journey

wisdom
is what i pray for
each day