melissa's blog

TO BLOG?

This is the question I've been asking myself for the last few weeks. A Carter Family blog already exists, but it's not my own. I guess it's kind of my own, because no one else checks it or contributes (except Jerry - and Ali). Still, it's not the same. I want my own Blog.

I've been inspired. Alison, my sister in law, moved away and started her own blog. Her layout and amazing gift of photography has peaked my interest. She's journaling her life and family, something of which I would like to improve upon. My kids crack me up everyday and though their daily mischief and cleverness is seemingly unforgettable- well- I forget.

I also discovered Sabrena Suite's blog... (I think she'd love you to check it out- go to; www.suitespots.blogspot.com). Sabrena was in my high school graduating class and someone I admired from a distance. She's a great writer. I would love to be a great writer. They're all over the place in my world. My mother, my husband, both have a magical gift...in fact, most of my family are able create beautiful, insightful and inspiring impressions with the written word... I would like to be as cool as they are.

So, what's holding me back?

OBSTACLE #1: I do not have these above mentioned gifts.

• Photography skills - null. Really null. I almost ALWAYS forget my camera.
  
• Writing skills-I'm a fairly good speller, but that's not saying much considering the fact that my brain hasn't but a meager vocabulary to draw from. (And did I just end that sentence with a preposition? See?) And since the world will not conform to my idea of limiting punctuation to only commas, dashes and exclamation points, (oh, and the dot,dot,dot...) then my writing will have to continue to be substandard.

OBSTACLE #2: Computer Skills....ugh. I can surf the net like no other...and I can read blogs all day long. But I can NOT set up a blog template... I took some pretty cute Halloween pictures of my kids yesterday (note: I didn't forget my camera, because I have a blog now - you HAVE to have pictures on your blog don'tchaknow)...I have yet to figure out how to get them up here. I had a cute title picture too, but the thing is HUGE. So this blog will have to just be a "Blah-g" for a while. Which brings me to my third obstacle:

OBSTACLE #3: Sense of Humor. It's important to me (see above attempt at a clever play on words). The problem is, I'm not funny. Well, I think I'm funny. (Sam, my hubby thinks I'm funny too. At 3am. When we're lying in bed about to finally drift into sleep. Then he thinks I'm hilarious. It's too bad we can't ever remember what was so dang funny the night before.) Usually, my jokes/clever remarks get the "oh brother" grunts, or sometimes I'll get the occasional sympathy laugh from my father in law. (He's always good for a laugh, thank heavens). I know it's really bad when people look the other way and just pretend they didn't hear what I said...Maybe I just don't have the confidence to pull off my jokes? It's all in the delivery, right? Or you have to be smart and quick like Katie - when it comes to wit- she's the fastest draw I know.

OBSTACLE #4: I'm insecure enough about the above weaknesses to doff this journaling effort. A bit of my record keeping history:

• I had a journal in junior high. Wrote in it faithfully for two years. Then one day in the 9th grade, I read through my entries, and with anxietous horror, I tore every page into tiny little pieces. This has been done to more than one journal.
  
• I currently own a journal with some sparse entries. I bought this journal at a time when I was feeling, well, VERY emotional-a little sad, tormented and drowning in self -discovery (aka, self-absorption). Interestingly enough- These are the moments I feel "inspired" to write. Rarely am I urged to document the everyday living with my family, which is really the treasure of my life. Oh Boy...even now as I think of some of what is written, I struggle to keep myself from running upstairs and shoving that little book into the lit jack-0-lantern on the porch.
  

• Facebook: My indecisiveness, insecurities and severe mood changes have led me to rewriting my facebook page info. several times (I am sorry, by the way, to all of my facebook friends who get repeated notifications of my changes. I didn't realize that was happening. I'm truly, truly sorry).

::deep breath::

Okay. So. I'm going to do it anyway. For my children (who are we kidding, like I'll ever let my children read my stuff!!! Mom, I totally get it now.) So it's for me. I really like my life. I'm pretty much living my dream (who knew it would include so much laundry?). I want to write it down. The day to day stuff. And even (gulp) let other people read about it, in case any one gives a hoot...