day twenty-two: From a Distance

This photo may not seem so spectacular, but it makes me laugh everytime I come across it:

 

Last year, as Sam and I struggled to put up the sail on our new boat, we were constantly being distracted by arguing twins.  

After a short period of time, I'd had enough.  I walked over to Jack, grabbed him by the elbow, then dragged him over to Ada (grabbing her by the elbow) and took them to the car for a time out.

Before we'd even made it to the car, they started up again.  I thought to myself, "They need some alone time.  They're just going to tear each other up in the car."  So I split them up.

Far, far away from each other and far, far, far away from us.   (But still in eye-shot.  Barely.)

Here's a closer look:

They did not like this.  Not one bit.

D.C. - October 2010

With Eddie, my mom (Lynne) and dad (Tim)

This was an amazing trip, and made possible by my very generous parents.  I loved the city, the museums and seeing it all with my family (especially Eddie).

He never complained.  Not one time.  We were on our feet all day long every single day.

What a wonderful experience.  Eddie is already talking about going back. 

Below are some of the many, many photos I took (of only a few places that we visited): 

Eddie's first plane ride

I am a big fan of the public transportation here.

My sister and her family drove from West Virginia to meet us for the day.  It was a blast.

Outside the Reagan Building.

Outside Reagan Bldg.

Inside Reagan Bldg.  I wish I was a better photographer.  I loved the architecture and wanted to constantly be taking photos...

Chumming with the D.C. folks at the American History Museum

Having fun while walking and exploring the city.  This was some sort of Navy Memorial

The ceiling inside the Native American History Museum

Arlington.  What a place, beautiful, somber, reverent, heavy.  It left a big impression on both Eddie and me.

Walking along the Mirror Pool

It is difficult to capture how big this monument is because you aren't allowed to get very close.

Native American History Building.  A gorgeous structure. 

Flying toy airplanes along the National Mall

IMAX at the National Air and Space Museum

Not a great photo of the ceiling at the National Art Museum.  I only had 30 minutes to spend here (shucks!),  but I saw some lovely things and discovered some new favorite paintings.

Grandpa (Tim), Myself and Eddie walking from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial.

I loved the Lincoln Memorial. 

Have You Ever Clicked On the "Next Blog>>" Button

over and over at the top of the page, to check out random blogs?

Yeah, me neither.  Psh. Who has time for that?


Okay I just did.  And you know what?  It made me feel like I'm just like everyone else, in a bad way.  Like I'm either not as cool / or just as dorky.

I'm not making much sense, am I?

I don't know how it made me feel really, it just wasn't good.  
Why do I want to be so unique or cool anyway?  That's sooooo fifteen-ish, isn't it?

What is the point of this post? 

Oh yeah, I wanted to post some pictures from my road trip with Sam:

Hatch, Utah.  At dusk.  It was a gorgeous snowy day.  I like driving through Utah. 

Just outside Navajo country in AZ, the next morning.  (I love, love, love the desert).

Sam, pumping gas at Samco.  Where else would we go?

2 1/2 Days in the Car and 2 Books Later....

And we came home with a boat!
It was a long drive.  (But so beautiful). 

Sam's dream (at least one of them) -he wants to sail.
So after 15 years or so of dreaming about it,  he/we finally took the plunge and bought a boat.  


I am not opposed to the pursuit of this dream, even though I haven't the slightest idea how all this is supposed to work!  It will be a fun adventure!  I love the water.  I think I may love this new hobby of ours...

Only time will tell.

WWW...the extra 'w' is because this entry is wordy (once again)

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Last Week's Challenge Update:

Well, it went pretty well. No, very well. I'm cured!!! (just kidding). But I think I'm finally figuring this whole "body image" thing out... Some thoughts that occurred to me during the week.

1. The first day. I was walking barefoot along the beach, listening to the water, being re-introduced to the salty, heavy sea breeze - I felt a strong sense of nostalgia and gratitude. I've walked those beaches as a young newlywed, as a pregnant mom, a new mom, a swollen, rash-covered narcissist...I realized that place has history for me. I was reminded of the beautiful life that I've had. And in all those memories, even the one where I broke out into hives because of my anxietous vanity, or the one year when I was big and pregnant trying to body surf, only to come out of the water unknowingly bearing my maternal breast for all the beach to see-- what I cherish is those beautiful memories, even when I didn't feel so cute at the time. They are a part of me.

2. Another day: I was picking up rocks and shells. I picked them because of how they looked, but once I got them into my hands, they all looked like regular rocks. They looked more plain because now they were out of context. They looked exceptional, beautiful, colorful, shiny, and bold when laying in the sand, being washed and polished by the waves. If that's not a metaphor for ya? I, too, feel more beautiful when I'm in beautiful places, with people I love. To surround yourself with beauty, is to bring out your brightest, boldest most beautiful features.

3. Losing my shorts: I had shorts to swim in and I wore these granny underpants underneath. Which worked fine until I started body surfing. I was having so much fun! I was finally starting to get the timing down, but the waves would pull my shorts off. I would grab for my shorts, and then get all scraped up on the rocks at the end of the ride. So, I took my shorts off, shoved them into my top and waited for the next wave. It was a great ride, except this time I started losing my underpants...I managed to snag them just below the knee (before it was everlastingly too late), but once I pulled them up into place I realized my shorts were gone!

You may not think this is a big deal (that's because it isn't), but honestly, I have not shown my fanny, or upper thigh portion to the sunshine in almost 20 years. I was wearing the Umbro's/swimsuit combo WAY before board shorts became mainstream. Not to mention the fact that I was wearing old underwear (granny style with panels and everything) that may or may not have holes in them.

Oh, and I didn't have a towel on the beach I could quickly run to and hide in. So I was stuck. My niece and sisinlaw did a once over for me in the water to make sure I didn't have any revealing holes, and I worked up the guts to walk out of the water and all the way to my camp site. My goal was to not act stupid about it. (But I did kind of did act stupid about it). Still, it was a good experience for me. The truth is, not ONE person gave more than a second's thought (if that) about my white fanny. Nobody cares. Seriously. A big ToDo about nothing. That's what I've been doing all these years. What precious time has been wasted in such self-absorbed thinking.


4. Before I left: I read this article about our body image and our genes. I have features I have thoroughly berated in the past, that are direct features from even my most immediate ancestors. This article pointed out that perhaps we should be more appreciative of those very traits. After all, if they've stood the test of generations, it's because they are dominant genes, and/or they work, right?

As many times as I've complained about my nose, I wouldn't change it. It's my grandpa's nose. And his dad's too. And my grandfather is not only handsome, he is one amazing, AMAZING man. I don't mind having a daily reminder of where I come from, and the examples that have been laid before me. I have short legs like both my grandmothers. They were/are attractive, have/had hustle and are a couple of the hardest working ladies I've ever known. so when I attempt (and fail) the look of the skinny jean, at least I know these limbs have proven to be able to do great things --minus the knees: thanks dad ;)-- And by golly, I'll wear my skinny jeans anyway, thankyouverymuch.

It was a good week. And a giant gold star for you if you actually read this whole thing.

:-===-:

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:

I don't know, maybe it was because C referred to me as a poet... but I feel inspired to work on my creative writing. Actually I don't feel inspired right this second, which is part of the reason for this challenge, WHICH IS;

Each day I will submit a poem/song that I have written... for all the world (okay, all 10 of you) to see.

This is kind of scary for me, because:
1. I'm not actually a poet... I lack the knack for rhyming, and I tend to make up words (note the word 'anxietous' above).
2. I have written less poems than there are days in the week, and I've already posted most of them...
3. I'm risking looking really dumb, or unintentionally revealing more of myself than I would like.

K- here I go!

#1

SLIP

Explanations,
Poses,
Constructed Themes,
The direction you are now facing.
Meaningless.

You've already given it away.

Without even a word.

One look
And it's gone from you.

It only feels taken because you
Weren't paying attention when

You revealed yourself
To me.

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Carpinteria Beach

I had sooo much fun! And I'm going to quote my sister-in-law, Alison, because she described our trip so well:

"Our vacation to Carpinteria was a blast. I love spending time with family, and camping trips are always a big hit with the kids. About this trip I want to remember. . . walks to Foster's, sandy kids, warm showers, camp fires, Kelsie discovering the ocean, scorched marshmallow's, hobo's, Santa Barbara shopping, gopher's, four square smashball, cool beach air, the way it fees to swim in the Ocean, mafia, Tacos to Go, Claire taking care of business, Donut runs, Mitch screaming at bath time, Sea Foam, Ed's Dutch Oven Cooking, my two brother's sand-free immaculate tents, Farmer's Market, giant sand crabs, and long beautiful day's on the beach."

To this I would only add:
1. Viewing awesome Santa Barbara architecture.
2. The pretty turquoise ring Sam surprised me with.
3. Losing my shorts while body surfing.
4. My early morning walk alone where I saw tons of sting ray and a couple sharks.

A.B. ALSO TOOK SOME AMAZING PHOTOS OF OUR TRIP, YOU CAN GO TO HER BLOG HERE AND CHECK IT OUT (days 92-82).

Below are my mediocre photos, taken of extraordinary people. (Frantically, on the last day).

My niece took a stroll in the tar pits. Her mother was very happy ;)

Cristie (mother in law) and Ali (sis in law)

Grammy and Jackie

Jack was dying to use the camera: Me wearing my "bee" glasses.

Sandy face eating a sandy PB & J

Ada is a true-blue beach girl.

His hair makes it easy for me to find him among all the kids.

Cousin Sand Wrestling.

I Have Shocking News...

I do not have the perfect body.

Or do I?

Okay, so I had this plan to write something about body image and my past anxieties about it but I'm out of time. Ready to hit the road and head to Cali for some sun, sand and surf...

Since I promised a beach challenge I will have to spew out something quickly.

I have a history of disliking, no, loathing my body. I could tell stories about not wearing shorts in the summer all through junior high and high school, breaking out into hives before going to the beach, and oh so much more.



But the bottom line is this: I'm learning that I seriously need to change.

HOW LAME am I to spend ONE second on this kind of thinking. How unfortunate that I spent the first half hour at the pool last week glued to my towel because I was too self conscious to move around, worried about the cottage cheese and spider veins on my thighs. How very sad that I decided a few aesthetic criterion was the deciding factor on how I spent my time. How I felt about myself as a person. How I related to others.

DU-UMB!!!!! Dumb, because I'm better than that. This body is capable of so much. It has immense potential. Substantial, beautiful potential. So it should play, serve, love, wear a swimsuit and frolic on the beach, because it is able and in this way, WAY closer to perfect than imperfect. (right?).

(While at the pool, I finally came to this conclusion and got up the guts to jump off the diving board, and PLAY. It was interesting how my self image improved just by doing that).

MY WW CHALLENGE: THE BEACH MANTRA

I will not spend ONE SINGLE second in berating my "imperfect" figure. I will not waste precious moments that can be used to develop relationships with loved ones by focusing too much on myself. I will get wet, and not worry about how my suit is going to stick to my body. I will play horse shoes, or volleyball or frisbee or explore sea animals with my kids. I will journal about this everyday and update when I get back.

I don't have time to proofread, I'm leaving in a matter of minutes...BUT I had to put something down.

I'm going to the beach and sleep by the ocean, and play music and card games by the fireside, it's a hard life, but someone's got to do it!

Toodles.