12 Things (Only One Third of Them are Irritants).

I am reading The Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt (cute book, so far).  We are reading this in my book club group and when I learned it was juvenile fiction, I decided I would read it aloud to my children.  It is a last stitch effort to do at least one constructive and educational activity this summer, before school begins again.


This was my view when I finished the chapter and looked up at my brood: 12 Observations follow:

1.  "Hey mom, make sure you take a picture of my good side"- then he turns, just so.

2. Vibram 5 Finger shoes. My boys are big fans.  Me, not so much.  They get stinky.

3. Hence, the foot powder, which has been left on the arm of the sofa (a huge pet peeve of mine, because things left there end up falling on the floor making mess and racket).

4. Another pet peeve.  These cushions.  Which always look mashed and messy.

5.  Pet peeve #3.  The remote control left on top of squishy cushion, to inevitably be dug out from inside the sofa later on by an irritated Dad.

6.  I actually used a blur feature in a futile attempt to cover up the messiness and lack of design in my house.

7.  Marmalade:  the beast with which I compete in seeking affection from Sam.

8.  My only sweet girl.

9.  The pink swing my sister lent me, which has stirred a surprising many (albeit brief) conversations about nature vs. nurture of gender in relation to the color of baby supplies...REALLY, PEOPLE. 

10.  The only evidence (jacket dumped on the floor = PP#4) of a lovely evening prior, in the mountains, with delicious dutch oven food, and good friends.  I should have brought my camera.

11.  Proof that I wasn't seeing the trees for the forest whilst constructing this photo.  Makes it a better one, so it is okay.

12.  Sleeping baby in stripes = adorable.  Also, the reason I am having to type this post with only one hand.



***
I almost made this a " 21 things" post.  I really could of done it...is that sad?

Monday's Memoir: A Draft I Wrote Two Years Ago

March 2010:

Eddie Sits On The Couch With His Feet Propped Up.

His face resembles his dad's. It's a pensive expression, one that always leads to a thoughtful remark.

"You know Mom, I'm so glad you aren't one of those moms who hangs around in their pajamas all day.  Because some moms do that you know."

(He says this while I'm sitting at the table, at my computer. I think about when I actually got dressed today...was it 12:30 or 12:45? I know it was somewhere around the twelves.  And then I began to wonder what time I might have gotten dressed, if I hadn't needed to go to work that afternoon).

"Um, yeah...sure." Is all the answer I could muster.

I'm thankful to have a boy that chooses to see his mother in the best light.  

Thank you for your comments

on my kids' blog.  Really, it has meant a lot to them.  Thank you!!!

And I KNOW you've been dying to see what Jack's been up to.  Here you go:

www.mastermindjack.blogspot.com

ENJOY!

Is this a total mistake?  I mean, I decided to help them with this because it's an opportunity for me to do something fun and creative with them.  And plus, I love to see what they think about, and the individual ways they observe each day in a household we share together.  It's an opportunity to develop writing and grammar skills, computer skills and typing skills.

But I have my reservations.  Obvious ones, like safety issues (giving kids an opportunity to expose themselves to....Whomever?!!) and vain reservations, like what if they reveal too much about our lives and the state of things and what kind of language and threats I use to get them to LISTEN AND OBEY ME FOR ONCE, FOR PETE'S SAKE, and what I said about so-and-so  etc. etc.

Anyway...I'm not supposed to be blogging yet so, I'll quit there.  Suggestions on this matter would be welcome, though. 

Back to JaJo's Blog.  What's that?  Yes, I said JaJo... (jay - joe).

As in, he goes by Jack.  But his birth certificate name is John.  Get it?  He came up with it all by himself.

I love him, by the way.  His huge, beautiful blue eyes and big giant juicy lips and grown up beaver teeth.  Crazy for him.  Also because he says stuff like this:

"I hope I get a comment within the hour."
{as he clicks the publish button}

Celebrity Sightings in a 20 mph School Zone

While driving to school yesterday, Eddie suddenly bursts out-
"OH Mom turn around! TURN AROUND!!  I just saw Tom Hanks!"

Jack replies,  "No WAY Ed, Tom Hanks is DEAD."

Eddie is incredulous and offers proof to the contrary,
"No he's not, Toy Story 3 is coming out...remember?  He can't be dead."

"Oh yeah..."  Jack concedes.

Then Jack inquires about which Tom Hanks Eddie saw.  Was it the "little" Tom Hanks (as in Toy Story) or the "big" Tom Hanks (as in, Big).   Eddie decides that he actually saw the "biggest" Tom Hanks, you know, from Castaway.

A few things I learned from hearing this conversation:
1.  My kids watch too many movies.
2.  My kids watch too many Tom Hanks movies.
3.  My kids, apparently, have a difficult time distinguishing reality from make believe.  Does Jack think Woody is real?  I'm concerned.
4.  If I walked to school with my kids, we might be able to get an autograph sometime.  ;)

In the words of Jack Carter

-"Hey mom.  Did you know that Henry Vee's father's mother is the queen you see on playing cards?"

{Huh? I have him repeat this sentence}

-"Ohhhhh" I say.  "Do you mean King Henry VIII?"

- "No. Henry Vee.  V -I -I -I". 

{Discussion about Roman Numerals}

 Jack loves to read.  And I love to hear about it, precisely for reasons like Henry Vee. I hear stuff like 'Henry Vee', or 'soo-ing' (instead of sewing) all the time from my cute little guy and it always cracks me up!  He loves words and loves to use them.


Like this morning when Jack was so frustrated because Ada wouldn't get out of bed and get ready for school.

"She's just so....sedentary in the morning."

Ha!

The picture above is Jackie writing Thank You notes (sometime after Christmas).  He had a lot of Thank-You's to write.  He was so bugged that I was taking a picture!  What I didn't realize is that he was writing a Thank You card to me and Sam and he wanted it to be a surprise.  He hid it under my pillow.

Cute, huh.

This Is The Way Jack Rolls...

On our drive home from school today:

Eddie - Mommm! Jack said he sucks.

Me - Jack, don't talk like that!  Why would you say such a thing?

Jack -   Because I'm not good at anything except reading (rolls his eyes).

I'm just a bookworm.

A soil eating thing, WHO ACTUALLY EATS SOIL, who likes to read books!!!

It's not just a girl thing.  Boys can give in to drama too. "Actually eats soil"? 

I wonder if he knows that he's also good at cracking me up? 

"Mom, Can I Have a Chicken...PLEASE?"

This is the question Jack has been asking me the last few nights, while tucking him into bed.

"No." I said the first night.

Second night: "No. Wait...WHY do you want a chicken?"
(answer: so he can hypnotize it...)


Night Three: "Maybe for your birthday." (this was a lie.)


And tonight...

"Jack, the city does not allow people to own chickens. I remember Livie's mom told me that there's some kind of ordinance in place that makes it against the law....No... Livie's mom wanted to have chickens for the eggs."

Upon hearing the news, Jack gave a look of disappointment that was like to make one's heart break.

I'm pretty sure he won't ask again. And I'm a little sorry for it. It has been one funny string of conversations, I tell you what. The poor boy had his heart set on hypnotizing a chicken.

Man, I love that kid.

What Do You Call

A skeleton that never wants to do any work?

~LAZYBONES.

And what do you call a 7 year old boy that learned a Halloween joke?

~INCESSANTLY repetitive.

(And his punchline delivery is adorable - every single time!)







HALLOWEEN '08

FIRST:
The Neighborhood Halloween Parade

From Left: NeighborFriend, Eddie the Secret Agent, Indiana Jack, and Ada the Rock Star


NEXT:
A visit to Grammy's
Aunt Lizzie and Ada



FINALLY:
A Visit With the Neighborhood Witch
(My friend's mother). Famous for a reason, she gave my kids a good scare.

Jack said (while crying), "I thought this was going to be a fun day, but it was NOT a fun day! I don't think I'll ever sleep AGAIN!"
Don't be fooled by those forced smiles, this spooky witch laid it on thick after the photo, and they couldn't get off her porch fast enough. (She was awesome).

It was warm and the wind blew the leaves around- a perfectly spooky setting for trick or treating.

I love this holiday. I love my family.

Kids Say...

Ada

Just before I go to bed, I wake Ada up and make sure she goes to the bathroom (so she doesn't have and accident). Ada is adorable always. Sleepy Ada is just so sweet. And pretty funny. I have to walk behind her, guiding her by the shoulders in order to make sure she doesn't run into anything, or fall down. Her hair is all over the place and often times she's mumbling something, or singing.






The other night she was trying to tell me about a dream I had interrupted. It was something about how to find your twin. I asked her if she liked being a twin. She sleepily replied;

" Yep. It's my favorite thing to do, actually. "

" You Are The WORST Mom...

...In the History!!!! "

That's me tonight. Yipee.

"Of What? In the history of what?" I said.

"I don't even know what it really means, but you are!" said Jack.

Eddie said, "I hate you". It was not meant to be heard, as this strong declaration is a BIG no-no in our family. He claims it was directed at "No One."

Ada's crying too. Her hysterics drown out any perspicuity...



You know? They're kind of right. So often I handle things in the absolute WRONG way. I know so little about how to do this whole mothering thing. I should spend more time on my knees, praying for guidance, clarity, A MIRACLE!

I should be more patient.

I should smile more.

I should be more organized.

I should plan more activities.

I should be more kind.

I should quit making this never ending list before I start to feel like the scum that grows under the scum of the slimiest, smelliest slug.

I know I can be better, do better. I will. I must, or else it's the dark abyss for us all. ;)

Aside from starkly revealing my many weaknesses, being a mother has taught me a couple of bonus lessons: Luckily, children are quick to forgive. And it's never to late to stop, take a deep breath and start fresh (again). Right now.

I better go tuck in the little darlings...If they'll let me. I think I need to be sent to bed, too.


Sweet Dreams,
"No One"

Jack Facts/Quotes...

1. About a week ago, in disparaging frustration towards his mother, Jack exclaimed, " Okayyyy LADY!" Then flung the door open and went into the house. I could see my neighbor next door smiling to himself as I hollered with faux-authority, "ExCUSE me, Young Man?!? Don't you EVER call me Lady. I'm your MOM...blah blah, nag, blah..." and so on.



2. The other day we were in the car, I was listening the to the traffic report on the news. Apparently Jackie was listening as well. He said aloud to himself, "I don't care about the traffic. I only care if I have muscles." Then he proceeded to flex.

I'm pretty sure my kids are going to give me a run for my money. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love having kids with a little sass and plenty of personality.

Kids Say...

I'm fixing my hair in the bathroom this morning.

Eddie comes in and says:

"So...What color did your hair used to be?"

Funny thing is, I'm not really sure anymore!

Saying Grace...

Should be a reverent thing, but sometimes it looks like this (I know because I peeked)--

• First there's the debate over who should have the turn to say the prayer. Eddie seems to have grown up enough to know that the opportunities will probably be ever forthcoming and decides he can let this one pass...
• Ada has the pronged tips of the fork in her mouth, scrunching her face in a way that reminds me of Popeye (this is during the prayer).
• Jack (who was voted to say the prayer, only because Ada negotiated the breakfast AND family prayer in the morning)- prayed -- eyes WIDE open, making goofy faces at "Popeye". He said the fastest prayer in history. He didn't even bother to bless the food.
  
• I asked him if he wanted another go at it, seeing as it was meant to be a meal time supplication. His reply:
  

"Na, I don't want to. The food's already good for me anyway".

Nice.

Kids Say...

Jack is not the only one around here who provides fresh and comedic insight to our daily lives...

EDDIE

(As we are driving home from school yesterday.)

Mom:"How was your day"

Eddie: "Great." "Hey mom?"
Mom: "Yea?"
Eddie: "If, some night, a robber comes into our house and I defend our family and kill him...Will I go to Juvy?"

Juvy? Ha! This was the beginning of a long conversation with lots of questions about some of the consequences of our legal system, our rights and responsibilities and the rights of even the robber who broke into the house - Why Eddie may or may not have to appear in court etc...

He's too smart for me. I don't think I was helpful and I didn't even bother mentioning
that it wasn't his job to protect our family anyway (we've had similar conversations before).

I just thought it was cute how he said "Juvy" like he'd already done time there...

ADA

This week my mother got tickets to see "The Human Body" at the Clark Planetarium. It was really cool!


One of the characters was a pregnant woman. Ada's eyes were glued. Being the little mommy she is to her dolls, she fixed on the parts of the film that focused on mother's changing belly and body, or when they showed the fetus developing, the hand forming inside the womb...it was all delightfully fascinating to her.

And then came the delivery. Oh, they filmed it. They filmed as the mom-to-be suffered, perspired, groaned, tried to breathe, was propped with her knees up to her chest, wincing and pushing. You see the baby delivered in it's slimy glory-no stork in sight.

As they lay the swaddled newborn in mother's arms, I'm tearing up. Ada, sitting next to me on my mother's lap whips her head in my direction and says, in a panicked voice,

"I am NOT doing that!" "I can't do THAT. MOM!!!"

I reassured her as best I could. I can only imagine what it would have looked like if the woman didn't have the epidural!

33 and One More to Grow On...Plus, A Breakfast Blowout

This is the honest truth. And must be added to the "33 reasons" list.


Sam is my boom.
He's holds the mirror, kindly reflecting the severity of my craziness. When I am lost, no, trapped in a mire of chaos and taking it out on my kids- he's the one that pulls me out without belittling. I really am so lucky!

So it goes without saying, that when he's out of town (like now), I'm worthless. It's the sad truth.

CASE IN POINT

Maybe it was due to the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep (this is a normal occurrence when Sam is out of town). But this morning, I had a fuse as short as my thumbnail.

This does not excuse me for my behavior.

For one thing, I yelled a lot this morning. YELLED. A LOT...

• "Quit fighting! Eddie, Jack, you're BOTH grounded for the rest of the year! You are NEVER PLAYING AGAIN. EVER!!!"
  
• "ADA!!! FOR.THE.LAST.TIME.GETYOURSCHOOLCLOTHES ON- NOOOOOOOOW!"

Stuff like that. I almost sent the kids off to school crying (I was nearly crying too).

Ironically, the miserable morning actually took a positive turn when I came to the head of my fatigue-induced rage. And I profaned.

I spilled apple juice all over Ada's phonics workbook. Exasperated, I hollered "DAMMIT!"

Three little heads shoot up in amazement. Then I hear a quiet, sober voice:

• "Mom. You really shouldn't say that word."
  
• "I know Eddie, I'm sorry."
  
• "Yeah, that's a bad word," Ada rubs in.
  
• Then Jack, thoughtful, gives his two cents on the matter;
  

"You know. If you were at a fancy restaurant and said something like that...I bet they'd throw you out."

I laughed out loud. It was like a shot of sunshine.

That being said, I'm counting the hours until my better half gets home :).

Kids Say...

EDDIE:"Mom, we're ready to go!" [To the skate park]

MOM: "Okay, I'll be ready in just a few minutes"

EDDIE: "Oh! Are you going to try it out?"

MOM: "Ummm, maybe. Probably not. I'll just watch you guys."

EDDIE: "Oh yeah, okay. That's all right. You're pretty old anyway."


Hmmmm...

PANDICULATION...

JACK:
"Dad?" "What is fast about Fast Sunday?"

DAD:
"Nothing."

*Does this photo make you yawn?

It's Cooler Than You Might Think...

Yep. Thaaat's right. Jazzercise Baby!

My mother in law has been going to classes for a while (and really enjoying it). So, just before the New Year, I decided to try it out. It's one intense, full-body workout! I've been pretty regular the last month, and I've got to say- I'm hooked!


Top 10 Reasons Why I love Jazzercise

10. You actually make "Jazz Hands" while working out (at least I do. Hey, it's JAZZ-ercise).

9. I love to shake my Booty - and now I've found a whole bunch of like-minded folks who can't sit still when the music is playin'!

8. I sweat buckets. EVERY single part of my body gets a workout. My posture is improving. (k-that's 3 things, I know).

7. I just feel SOOO good the whole rest of the day!

6. I love how my teacher uses ballet terms, "first position, fourth position" etc. It makes me feel dainty, long
and graceful, like a ballerina... and I rarely feel dainty.

5. No mirrors. (Just an excellent teacher who gives great feedback).

4. I'm learning French (shah-say, rele-vay, plee-ay). I'm not learning how to spell French.

3. I love seeing Cristie, Lizzie, Valerie and even Alison when she's in town. They keep me going and are fun girls to boogie with!

2. I'm truly, honest-to-goodness, NOT doing it for weight loss.

1. Because my kids came along with me today and thought I was so cool. To them, it was like I was rehearsing for "Highschool Musical XV: The Golden Years". They also suddenly think I'm buff and tuff.

A short conversation following class today:

• Ada: "Mom, let me see your muthles." (she has a bit of a lisp)
• :: MOM FLEXES::
• Ada (raises eyebrows & smiles as though impressed): "Oooooh, bumpy! Niiithe!"
  

**P.S.** I liked this conversation because 1) she's so adorable. And 2) I don't want her thinking that I exercise because I think I'm fat - or because I need to fix myself in some way. I'm glad she seems to equate exercise with being strong and feeling good. Having a girl has really opened my eyes about body image and how much I should appreciate who I am. But that's a Soapbox-Blog for another day.

more memorable quotes...

Eddie (just said this today on the way home from school):

"Mom? You know, I have some good gifts from Heavenly Father...I'm good-handed (meaning hand-eye coordination), I have almost perfect penmanship, and I'm a good person. But stacking cups....that is not one of my gifts."

Some girls just know how to make an impression...

:evolution of a name:

1. Birth...............................Ada Carter
2. 6 months.....................Ada, Ada, Sweet Potatuh (favorite baby food).
3. shortly thereafter.......Ada Potata (Grandpa Jerry's condensed & more catchy version).
4. Since about 5 yrs.....Tater Tot (again Jerry's inspiration).

What she would also have us call her:
1. Princess
2. Princess Ada
3. Ada Jane (may also add the title of "princess" here).

Princess Tater Tot is:

Fun. Constantly Singing (even in her sleep). Tucking in a baby doll. Pink to the core. Dancing with mom in the living room. Giggling. Twirling. Un-tameable hair. Always keeping up with her brothers (pink power rangers, pink Darth Vader. She knows how to make it work). Dress up. A pleaser. A Diva (the nice kind). Lover of nap time. Artist. Silly. Clever. Happy hearted, no matter what!

Latest Ada quote-able:
"Oh, I just loved this nice bathtub-ism"