Can it Be Saturday Now?

I need to vent a little  a LOT and I will start by sharing an aspect of my personality I'm not particularly proud of:

I resist making big goals, or more accurately, I resist working hard toward big goals, because I'm afraid of failure.

If I fail at a goal that I sort of approached willy-nilly, then I have my reason for failing - I didn't really try, so big deal.  Somehow I've perceived that notion as much better than really giving my all and in the end not being good enough.   I know that's ridiculous, that this fear of failure is what's keeping me from bigger and better things.

In that light and with a desire to really change how i "do life" - I made one of my resolutions in January to complete a race that is well beyond my physical capabilities (or was at the time).  It's one that I've wanted to do for a long time.

I've been working toward this goal since then and now Saturday is D-day.  The day where I get to see what I'm made of.  It's not like I'm even trying to win the thing.  I just want to finish, is all.  That would be a big deal for me.  That's my goal. 

This week leading up to it has been dreadful.  I am having a terrible case of the "what-ifs".  If I don't accomplish this goal, I won't know how to handle it.  Because I actually worked for this one.  Maybe not perfectly, but diligently.  I kept it as a real focus - despite time constraints,  injuries (a bike crash) and lack of sleep (3:45am start times) - I kept moving toward this goal.  What if it's all for not in the end, HUH???

Then there's my competitive nature.  My PRIDE...  There have been a few, who upon hearing of my goal, took one shocked look up and down my fleshy, middle aged frame and actually asked me stupid questions, like,  "You realize how long that race is, don't you?"  or "Do you even know how to swim?" or  "Oh wow.  I hope you've been training!" 

Dee. You. Eytch.

Yeah, I'd love to stick it to those haters. ;)



UGH.  Why can't I just be fun?  Just go and have an adventure, see what happens? 

Come Saturday morning I will be in a better state of mind, I know I will.  Until then, I have this knot in my gut that is driving me crazy!!!

I suppose that if I don't (for whatever reason) finish - it will be good for me to have pursued a goal, long term, and measure those results.  It's not a loss.  It's not for nothing!
And really, in this way, I suppose I've already met my main goal - changing the way I approach things, giving something a GO - really going after it, seeing what I'm made of.


Okay, now I feel better.  Wish me luck!!!

Cousins Breeze In From the Windy City, Adventure Ensues...

In the beginning, it was the perfect weather for a hike

The foliage was uncommonly green and full (lots of precipitation in our lovely Deseret this year)

Uncle Ed felt particularly daring, or just really wanted a short cut.  It looked simple enough, the log "path"

 

But then the log began to bow and shake, like it might buckle.  And the ground underneath was further down than it had appeared from the trail...

He was in a pickle - what could we do, but take some video?  the background conversation is Grandpa offering some serious money to the little kids, if they would dare cross this log.

 

We settled on doing some dares on safer logs.  (The kids are trying to cross without falling into the "lava")

We finally reached the lookout point and the view was gorgeous as we watched the rain come down in the valley

We spent some leisurely moments up there

  

And just when we began to head back down, it began to rain.  And get dark.  It was quite the trek back but the kids were troopers!  I have almost no pictures of my niece Claire (the smallest and youngest in the group, 6 years) - but that's because she was at the head of the trail most of the time!  5.5 miles was no big deal for these little ones.

It already is a great memory.

We love when family comes to town.

Date Night

We tried something new.

It was a gorgeous evening.

There were lots of bugs.  We ate more than a few.

We rode bikes by moonlight.  It was so lovely I forgot to change the settings on my camera.

I Took 216 Bad Pictures...

I've been fooling around a lot with settings.  But it is all completely experimental, I have no idea what the settings will do half the time.

Ah well.  I'm glad I took pictures.  I need to start documenting a little better, the goings on in my life.  Plus,  it turned out to be quite a lovely impromptu vacation.  One I want to remember.

Sam said on a Tuesday, "Let's go camping this weekend."

Every tent wishes they had an owner like Sam.  Meticulously cared for, our tent.

We didn't fully commit until Friday afternoon.  And even then we didn't have any kind of a plan.  We decided, last minute, on going to Cherry Hill Campground.  It's close and fun, there's a water park, mini golf and batting cages.

We had a blast.  I really needed the time with just my little family.




We played Yahtzee:

What he's saying here -verbatim:  "Hey Hun, can we be done with the picture-taking?"

We swam until we were bloodshot and shriveled:

 We participated in breath-holding competitions:

We found some great places to eat (yummy comfort food) in Kaysville, Utah:

[photo taken from the internets.  I was too busy snarfing my food to take any pictures]

I read this book, taking breaks to share my opinions with Sam regarding Ms. Chua's parenting methods:

[There will likely be a soapbox blog about this one]

At night we listened to heavy summer rain pounding onto our cozy tent.  We listened to some serious thunder and were entertained (some terrified) by the continuous flashes of lightning.  About an hour into it, Sam realized that he left his most favorite (and fancy) hat out on the picnic table in the storm.  But when he went out to save it, he found that his hat can take serious storms.  I was impressed.  It still looked new!

 We climbed trees:

And did robot dances:

 

We bought enough camping chairs to seat the whole family (not just the authoritarians duo):

Some of us did push ups as punishment for fighting:

And for some reason, Eddie kept doing this:

  It was a most fun, unplanned two days.







I really loved it.

So did this guy:

day twenty-four: Shoes (or not. In my case)

I really wanted to finish the 30 days in 30 days, but...it's not going to happen.  I will be occupied this coming week and unable to finish it.  This last week was kind of a bear, no time for blogging.

I will finish it up over July. 

I will probably end up taking a picture of some of my shoes, but really, this is exactly how I like my feet to be:

I mean, what better way to dress up a foot than sun-warmed sand?  Am I right?

day twenty-two: From a Distance

This photo may not seem so spectacular, but it makes me laugh everytime I come across it:

 

Last year, as Sam and I struggled to put up the sail on our new boat, we were constantly being distracted by arguing twins.  

After a short period of time, I'd had enough.  I walked over to Jack, grabbed him by the elbow, then dragged him over to Ada (grabbing her by the elbow) and took them to the car for a time out.

Before we'd even made it to the car, they started up again.  I thought to myself, "They need some alone time.  They're just going to tear each other up in the car."  So I split them up.

Far, far away from each other and far, far, far away from us.   (But still in eye-shot.  Barely.)

Here's a closer look:

They did not like this.  Not one bit.

day twenty-one: Something Pink

You may have noticed that I'm going out of order and a little behind.
 Prudence requires it.

I will be camping all week next week.  I will try to set things up so that the photos post on time, but I can't make any promises.

There won't be many more photos from my iphone during this challenge.  It was stolen. (waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!)

ahem.

[One of the last photos taken with my iphone:  Concert at Red Butte Gardens, June 2011]

[pink sky and rainbow at Bear Lake, Garden City Utah, September 2010  - It doesn't look so pink next to the other sky picture, though...]

[Rose from my garden, á la Gorgia O'Keeffe]